How do you keep it flirty without complimenting?

Zenterus · 2020-09-02T09:56:11+00:00

This is a question that troubled me as well a few months ago. After some research and being a little bit creative, I made some quick adjustments to my game that seem to work for me.

Negative intent - You don't want to make the girl feel that she has you. All you want to do is create a sexual vibe into the conversation. Negative intent is very good for that if it's not overused. Instead of saying "I love you" you say "I hate you". If the girl teases you about something, you can say "Fuck you" in a playful way and you could even physically push her away a little bit. Other examples "We're not going to get along" "I might be too crazy for you" "You're trouble, I don't trust you" etc.

Roleplay - I love to do this. With this I create a mental image in the girl's head of what it would be like to date me. I find that making it a bit dramatic works best, but be careful not to create roleplays that create a negative image of yourself in the girl's mind.

Example roleplays: "You're such a serious girl compared to me. Hanging out with you would consist of me just being silly and doing stupid fun things while you chase me around trying to stop me."

"Oh no, you study law? Damn, I study art. Its a bad combination. I'll be the crazy artist trying to convince you to go on some random spontaneous adventure and you'll always be nagging me that we should plan ahead before we do anything fun. We'll just argue all the time."

Activity suggestion - This is one that I use from time to time. It's fairly simple compared to the previous ones but it pretty much consists of me suggesting to do an activity with the girl out of nowhere. The activity itself doesn't matter and usually we never end up doing it. All that matters is that it has a sexual context behind it. "The fact that you just said that makes me want to take you by the hand and go dancing with you, even tho I can tell you're probably an awkward dancer" or "Damn girl, I want to drink wine with you".

Sexual Tension - Last but definitely not least, is sexual tension. Meaning SILENCE. This one I've been doing a lot more recently and its veeeery powerful. If you're not comfortable with silence then you need to work on that. By silence, I dont mean a cringy awkward pause. No, I mean a few seconds of you holding very strong eye contact with the girl and having a slight smirk across your face. I often find that if you do this right after the girl says something like an opinion or whatever, it's at its most powerful. Don't overdo this tho, you dont want to put too much pressure on the girl, neither do you want to do this at the start of a date. This is for when you've been talking for a bit and you're both already comfortable in the conversation. Do it a couple of times and you instantly have a sexual vibe going.

Hope this was helpful.

Smergmerg432 · 2020-09-02T04:05:39+00:00

Inflate that ego! Then people open up and you can connect on a more natural level and start joking around—that joking around bit, if they’re physically attracted to you, is the same as flirting

7Saturn7Saturn7 · 2020-09-02T09:25:54+00:00

A compliment counts shows intent (usage here is close to sexual tension) but also gives validation. Well you can look at game as keeping several "meters" in the goldilocks zone at the same time, like intent, validation, attraction, interest and others (as many as you want to extend it to and will help you really).

You've correctly sensed that you can easily raise intent and validation at the same time through a compliment, but we want to keep validation medium-low while intent is high. If validation is high it dumps attraction and urgency. Basically she'll subconsciously think something along the lines of "I can get this guy and guys like him at any time, I'll save him for later and try to get better for now".

As for the techniques to raise intent without having a great effect on validation there are millions, and you can make up your own, but a simple beginning framework is factual to personal to relational. Basically you take a fact or observation, then you modify it to make it about the girl, then you modify again to make it about your relationship with the girl. Keep everything in a playful tone and watch for positive reactions from her before moving on.

Here's a bland example, say you just learned that she's never had boba tea before (and that's something you like). First make the fact personal: "Wow! You've never had boba? You might be kinda naive huh?". Then after a positive response (laugh, smile, playfully protests) make it relational, "hmm, I really don't know if i could be with a naive girl. I'm kinda a worldly guy, but maybe that would compliment me."

The more you vary the script and riff of it the better. The idea is that you plant the image of you and her being together while also having a fun conversation and not giving her a million compliments. It's a nice framework because you can weave in other techniques. Above has push-pull and seeds for sex by making a narrative about naive vs worldly. Also if you're far enough along you can add in sexual as a fourth tier.

Of course this is just the fundamental archetype of an escalation ladder applied to verbal game in a specific way.

2020-09-03T03:10:11+00:00

Eye contact. Like real eye contact.

dirtywristlocker · 2020-09-02T03:51:40+00:00

I hope you get some answers. I’m honestly just commenting to follow, as I’d like to see if there’s a way you can throw sexual innuendos or make the convo go that/ spark sexual tension when on a date without coming across as a perv, creep, or like you’re a player.

Good luck!

zarishka · 2020-09-03T02:28:56+00:00

I feel like it’s more about what kinds of compliments you give and what intent they have. The generic kind of compliments usually kind of put me off, if they aren’t said by someone I know really well and I know they say it because they honestly think so. You need to say what your REALLY think is great about the person, to try and notice these things about them. If she’s a pretty girl, she probably has heard it a shit ton of times. However, it’s possible that she hasn’t heard that much about being smart/funny (if she’s actually like that though, otherwise don’t say it lol)

Title	How do you keep it flirty without complimenting?
Author	Correct_Cartoonist
Upvotes	6
Comments	9
Date	September 2, 2020 3:31 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ikzbvf/how_do_you_keep_it_flirty_without_complimenting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-keep-it-flirty-without-complimenting.1296508 https://theredarchive.com/post/1296508

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