I realized this when I was hanging out with a girl the other night and started really getting in to her. I'm usually pretty reluctant and shy but she gave me such obvious, strong signals I felt bulletproof. I started advancing harder, we both started having more fun, and things kept going. And I realized that after a point I didn't need to worry about confidence cause the girl removed all doubt for me. She basically told me we were going to hook up later and for me, a guy who is unsure about his hotness, that was the sexiest thing she could have done. It let me feel like all the awkwardness was out of the way, and after that we had a total blast. And at the end of the night the girl told me she had a lot of fun with me and it hit me.

It totally blew my mind. I've been going about this the wrong way all this time. What I need to be focusing on is creating the same feeling in her! I mean confidence is universal and girls get nervous too. Chances are if a girl meets a guy she's interested enough in that she's willing to hook up with then she's going to be slightly insecure about the things she's usually insecure about...it's part of being human.

So I thought, "What could I do to make a girl feel more confident in picking ME up?" I found in my head the answer was to be more assertive and obvious. I'm pretty aloof so I see now the reason I need to push and be assertive is because showing interest in her both as a person and as a woman is how you give her sexual confidence, aka make her horny. But everything makes sense when I realized I needed to worry about keeping her confident WAAAAY MORE than I needed to worry about keeping myself confident. The right girl (like the one I met the other night) will do that for me.