What do you guys use to deal with Anxiety?

unifyer · 2014-11-15T02:32:05+00:00

Going to throw out my 2 cents here. If I feel nervous before a cold approach or date, I'll listen to my favorite music to get me pumped, close my eyes, breathe deeply, and tell myself that I'm an awesome mother fucker over and over again. If a negative thought comes up I'll say "fuck you not today". I'll do this for a minute or so and then go approach without giving a fuck what happens. If I get rejected, I'll tell myself that I'm proud and then approach some other girl later.

It's kind of like meditation I guess. I'll do this several times throughout the day whenever I feel anxious. If you are paralyzed by your anxiety, maybe consider visiting a psychiatrist or psychologist and get some medication and treatment so you can go out there and kill it.

are_you_doctor_yet · 2014-11-15T03:55:00+00:00

Initially for me, coffee helped me get energised, but anxiety only reduced by talking to everyone, to the point where it became natural for me. Old lady at the check out? "How's your day going?", old man on the bus "Where are you heading?", other blokes around "So did you catch the game on the weekend?" For me, it was easier talking to people in general, before I even began attempting to talk to women. But women are people too, and conversation is sometimes just conversation. For myself it was baby steps, become relaxed at having a conversation, then I became cheeky, and then I became outcome orientated - looking for a close. Just ease yourself into the casualness of conversation first!

koala_diarrhea · 2014-11-15T05:55:28+00:00

Most nice guys get social anxiety. I used to & I've grown out of it through effort, experience, & studying self improvement.

Anxiety is the opposite of confidence. Building your confidence will kill the anxiety. Understand that anxiety is just energy being misguided. Some basic tips that have helped me:

Practice talking to people. Experience builds confidence kills anxiety. One thing that helped me was that my first couple jobs were in retail. And not just loading shelves at Target, but sales jobs where you have to approach people & be confident.
Work out to build the body you want. That's obvious, but exercising also helps confidence beyond just looking better. You'll have more energy which will truly make you feel better both mentally & physically. Some of my best nights out with people have been after a good run or lift.
Study seduction, self-improvement, social skills, etc. When you have a better understanding of women & social dynamics, you'll be more confident & less anxious when you're around them.
Ask yourself this: If I am anxious, then I am afraid of something. What am I afraid of? Looking ugly? Sounding stupid? Find what you're afraid of, then take control & beat that shit like the man you are!

eathbau · 2014-11-15T08:19:59+00:00

Just kamikze in and do it.

My first one is usually my worst one.

moyno85 · 2014-11-15T09:29:36+00:00

Honestly, it just comes down to exposure.

You have to do whatever you can to suck it up and make those first few approaches but once you do, you start to realise all the crazy anxious shit in your head is a lie. Even if you get rejected, the feeling of actually having the balls to try feels amazing.

ravenkain251 · 2014-11-15T04:49:45+00:00

At the risk of being downvoted...weed...but everyone is different, use responsibly

Ebonic · 2014-11-15T06:32:42+00:00

You feel anxious...you know it's good for you but you feel anxious.

Take one for the team! Make it feel like you are doing your future self a favor by going out and meeting women. Your future self will appreciate it. When you're lying in bed after being rejected by 50 women, when you're on a date with that cutie you met at the book store, when you're walking down the aisle to see your beautiful wife, you'll thank yourself for getting out there and being proactive. Do it for your future self.

sortathrow · 2014-11-15T15:28:18+00:00

From the looks of it this doesn't sound like the fairly normal AA that people experience here. It sounds like you have an actually diagnosable anxiety disorder.

I'd recommend taking this short test to see where you stand. To give you and idea, I scored 108. No bueno.

I have been trying drugs. My psychiatrist says that because my anxiety disorders are impeding my life as much as they are, medication is a very reasonable option.

It takes a bit of dedication to make sure you find the right meds, assuming you try that route.

Of course this is all under the impression that you really have trouble leaving your home. If this is purely related to interacting with women, and approaching, this stuff may not apply to you.

EpictetustheWise · 2014-11-15T16:51:19+00:00

I used to really only feel nerves and anxiety socially, so maybe, my experiences are different from yours...But, what really helped me the most out of anything was to change my perspective on life, the world around me, and my interactions in it. This is kind of a brief overview of what I mean:

When I was working on my own problems socially, I noticed that, the times I was the most afraid was when I was being the most egocentric. My ego, while trying to protect itself from getting hurt (rejection from girls), put all of these ideas in my head of ways the interaction could go wrong or the terrible ways which I would be perceived. The more I fought through these false notions and made myself take action, the more I noticed my thoughts would change. It went from thoughts such as What do I say? and She probably won’t even like me to thoughts like What does it matter? or Just go for it!

In a very real way, I stepped back and looked at my situation from a higher or so-called meta level. I began to take my thoughts from the egocentric ‘how will I be perceived in society?’ towards a more basic understanding of what my interactions with women were. I was a man, who had a limited amount of time on this planet, and thus my fears were holding me back from experiencing life. My fears of judgment and rejection were overblown because I would soon be forgotten to history, like billions of other people, and some chick being mean or rejecting me really only mattered to my ego. The interaction between a man and a woman, I began to view, as a completely natural thing which I was programmed to do, and so me not interacting with a woman should come about only as a logical choice and not because of an illogical fear of doing so. In short, my ego’s protecting itself really had the opposite effect of hurting me because it prevented me from living the life I wanted to live.

So how does one cultivate the ability to take a mental step back while in a situation of talking to a woman? Everybody has the ability to do this, only they may lack the consistency. You might have experienced a night where you felt like you were in the zone, had insane confidence, and had no problem carrying on a conversation. The problem is that you haven't been able to replicate these nights on a consistent basis or have tried to induce such a positive mindset by drinking alcohol or using drugs. I can present to you the ways in which I help to relax my mind and put it in a prime state but most of the changes will come over time through first-hand experience:

-Music -Meditation -Reading philosophy -Interacting with people throughout the day, helps to build a social rhythm. -Trying to gain as much experience as possible, so that I am comfortable in any situation.

2014-11-15T17:28:13+00:00

What I do is try to look my best before going out. I may not look like a perfect model or anything close, but it's my best. Then for the approaching I go into an almost autopilot like mind frame. I'm nervous as hell, I want to back out, but my legs keep going. The scariest part is the initial conversation, but just keep talking. Then you realize, this isn't all that bad. She's not immediately putting you down for talking to her, and if she does who gives a shit. She's just a random person so who cares what she thinks. Each time gets less and less stressful because you start to realize, it doesn't matter what the outcome is, if it's bad, oh well.

HonestyReigns · 2014-12-06T00:42:12+00:00

Realize it doesn't matter. Live in the moment, not in fear of the future or regret for the past. Read-Zen Flesh, Zen Bones. Remember that people forgive and forget and how short life is. Go for the things you want with reckless abandon, ask forgiveness not permission.

Like Joe Rogan says, act like the superhero of your own movie.

FakerSenpaiPlz · 2014-11-15T11:54:03+00:00

Title	What do you guys use to deal with Anxiety?
Author	throwitedc
Upvotes	47
Comments	34
Date	November 15, 2014 2:15 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2mce9z/what_do_you_guys_use_to_deal_with_anxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-do-you-guys-use-to-deal-with-anxiety.1299233 https://theredarchive.com/post/1299233

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