At my wit's end, but I don't want to give up

BestOfPUA · 2017-01-27T11:58:01+00:00

I was one of the nerdiest people you could ever find. When I was 26 or so, I was invited to a party. Another guys fiancée came to me smiling and told me I should not be shy. Everyone in their house was friendly, etc. After 10 minutes of conversation, she went back to her fiancée and told him I was creeping her out. I clearly heard her say that.

I picked up PUA when I was 27. I lost my virginity when I was 28. I am 35 now. I had sex with 20+ girls so far. Last girl I had sex with was 21 (14 years younger than I am). Few months ago, 19 years old very hot girl wanted to have sex with me. I decided not to have sex with her (16 years younger than I am). I am very often called fun, friendly, personable these days.

You can make it.

That being said, I see few very important differences between you and me! First of all, it seems like you are clinging on to your old self. When I decided to become better with woman. I was ready to bury my old self. I knew I had many problems with my personality. I knew the success would not come unless I made huge changes in my life.

I am not gonna lie, I am not very good at game. I focused on game, then started a relationship. I broke up with her, then I focused on game until the next girl showed up. Whenever my game was picking up, I ended up with a girl. So, I could never get that good.

That being said, game and lifting are probably the two things that will only reward you in proposition to your investment. Right now, you are the skinny kid who walked into the gym for the first time in his life. You see all those muscular guys who has been going to the gym for years/decades. Then, you look at the mirror and tell your self "I will never be like them" and you decide to quit on your first day? This is what it sounds like from your description.

It sounds like you will move to a new city soon. Few of my suggestions :

Definitely stop playing computer games or wasting your life in front of the TV. I had my biggest success in game when I told my self no more computer games or wasting time in front of the TV.
Do understand that, your motivation is a limited resource. If you solely rely on your motivation, then soon you will burn out. You don't need motivation but you need dedication. You must get the discipline to keep doing the same thing everyday. You can start with baby steps and increase your load as you go. But, you must show-up and do it every day.
In your new city, you will need to join 3 clubs, meetups, classes, etc. The first one is the one that is physically challenging. You can join group lifting gyms, get a personal trainer, join a rock-climbing meetup, do martial arts, etc. This needs to be social (includes other people than you) and physically challenging. This will help you with your testosterone and confidence. The second club you join will be a social one. This needs to be an activity that can continuously introduce you to different people but mostly different girls. Don't try to fuck every girl you meet in this club. This is your social club where you socialize and try to develop better habbits especially around girls. The third one is a one that you are very passionate about.
Read lots of self help books and start a therapy if you need. This is a must. This will help you understand your fears and how to overcome them. I think reading some psychology and self help books was the best thing I did for my game.
Find a dedicated wing. You can either find one online or meet other guys in the bars. The purpose of this wing is to keep you motivated to go out every night. Don't drink every night. But, go out to clubs, social settings every night.
Learn how to buy fitting clothes and learn how to dress well. Whenever I hear someone say that looks don't matter I feel like punching them on the face. Whenever someone tells you looks don't matter it means two things. He is a fucking liar who is trying to sell you something. Or, he is a fucking retard who believes everything he reads online because they feed his ego! I will very clearly tell you, 50% of my success in the game comes from lifting and dressing well!

it is late now, I will type the rest when I have time.

1z1z2x2x3c3c4v4v · 2017-01-27T15:20:46+00:00

Wow. Great stuff here. Listen to /u/BestOfPUA

I will also re-affirm you MUST bury your old self.

It no longer matters what your life was like in middle school or high school. Its over 10 years ago, and a potential candidate will never care and only get turned off by it.

Sponton · 2017-01-27T16:15:40+00:00

I think you're scared. It makes sense since sex isn't something you've been involved in. You're scared at being bad at it, or perhaps I'm projecting myself when I was younger but I don't think that is the case. If I were you I would find an ok looking girl who's just as horny and have sex with her. And I give this as an objective advise, you will realize how unglamorous and unromantic and unimportant sex is (of course this is when you have no idea what you're doing) but as you move on in the experience ladder you can see how amazing it can get and how special doing it with someone you love can make it. So don't be discouraged, I mean being sexual is a huge part of being a human and you don't want to look back when you're old thinking about all the fun you could have had and I don't mean just having sex but being intimate in different ways. Anyways, good luck with everything.

Title	At my wit's end, but I don't want to give up
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	8
Date	January 27, 2017 8:27 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/5qg1zs/at_my_wits_end_but_i_dont_want_to_give_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/at-my-wits-end-but-i-dont-want-to-give-up.1308169 https://theredarchive.com/post/1308169

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