We've all read many questions about the so called "friend zone", but my problem seems to be in pushing the relationship past first base

Listro · 2010-02-26T00:59:08+00:00

Flirting/makingout/getting a number doesn't necessarily mean much. Especially, in places like clubs where all three things are easy to do. It might help if you provide more info. Until then, a thing that I tend to do is have a reason to get a girl's number. If we're talking about something we both like I'll say, "hey we should do that together let's exchange numbers".

I do this because it just makes sense in my life. Why do I want a random girl's number? Well, obviously to fuck her, but there's a lot of girls I could be fucking. I prefer having girls in my life that I could do thing with before and after sex even if it's just for an hour or two.

So what do you do with your life when you're not trying to get in a girl's vagina? What are your hobbies or events/places you go to? Can you do any of these hobbies with another person? Start talking about them when you're talking to girls and start doing those things with new girls you meet.

Also, try not to be boring/robotic/thinking of me when you talk about it ;)

mynewname · 2010-02-26T02:06:34+00:00

Listro said it well. Making out in a club isn't necessarily high on the totem pole. I have a good number of female friends who will get drunk and head out to a sleazy club because they want to make out with someone in a scot-free setting with someone they won't have to see again. I've heard one of them say, "I am so making out with some guy tonight."

But, if you got the number, it is a close, so it's possible something else is going on. What happens afterward? Does she not pick up the phone? Do you guys never manage to meet up again? Do you meet up again and only make out? All you're saying is "problems keeping her interested", which doesn't tell much.

modernsavage · 2010-03-02T21:46:24+00:00

Normally I would say that the big problem for most guys that get stuck in the "friend zone" is not escalating sexually, like never going for the kiss or giving a statement of intent.

However, it looks like in this case you've gotten the make-out so the "intent of sexual interest" is made, which means the problem likely lies in her comfort level with you. Basically, you've gotten enough attraction to get the one time make-out and digits but the next day she gets buyers remorse.

The two pieces of advice:

1) Try to escalate past the make-out to turn it into a same night lay

or

2) Do your usual thing but refrain from making out on the first meeting and get her digits. The point here is that by refraining from making out on the first meet, you aren't triggering her anti-slut defense which leads to buyers remorse the next day. Thus, on the second meet, you can proceed as normal, get the make-out and escalate from there.

Hope that helps.

Sirniki · 2010-02-25T16:04:33+00:00

It's 90% about what you did in your first interaction and 10% the way you contacted her later. So you'd need to provide more details about both. Especially the former.

Title	We've all read many questions about the so called "friend zone", but my problem seems to be in pushing the relationship past first base
Author	123onlyme
Upvotes	4
Comments	5
Date	February 25, 2010 10:21 AM UTC (16 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/b6bfi/weve_all_read_many_questions_about_the_so_called/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/weve-all-read-many-questions-about-the-so-called.1309894 https://theredarchive.com/post/1309894

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