The Pick Up Artist world is overwhelming me...

intjpua · 2010-10-31T19:51:04+00:00

Here's the way PUA/seduction study ought to work, in my humble opinion:

Read a few things. The basics. Whatever program you like, read it, think about opinion openers, think about how all this stuff can fit into your normal best personality (how you behave around good friends; relaxed, confident, funny, interesting, but without trying to be any of those things).
Integrate what you can from the literature into how you approach and respond to girls, and practice. Practice on everybody, not just the one girl you fall in love with at first sight. Men, women, children, old people, dogs. Doesn't matter. Talk to everybody.
Note your flaws. Where are you making mistakes? Where do you freeze up? Where/when do you get tongue-tied? Find the bits of the literature that cover these mistakes or blocking points. Ask your peers (seddit counts) for advice.

Repeat steps 2 and 3 until your flaws are no longer obvious. At that point, graduate to step 4, which is:

Disregard rules. Acquire natural game.

I think 4 can even begin to be integrated into your life while still iterating on 2 and 3, for the areas that you've overcome your hurdles.

In short, reading more, buying more programs, watching more videos of self-proclaimed experts may not be your best course of action. You're already overwhelmed. Don't try to do all the steps. Learn the basics, hit the field, fix your problems. Don't worry about whether you're doing everything you're supposed to do with every girl you meet.

Another random thought: When I first started in on this stuff, I read in a few places several seemingly very savvy PUA bloggers who are very critical and suspicious of the seduction industry (as I am, at this point) that you can get 90% of the impact of game by just doing a few simple things. The most important of them is to kill the try-hard and supplicating auto-response (which fixes a huge array of problem behaviors once internalized, and you don't have to specifically fix each of those individual problems if you fix the mindset). Another is to detach from outcomes...game every girl, have fun no matter what happens, and just keep going until things go right.

I am out practicing all the time, but I am at a road block in the conversation department.

I'm not sure what to make of this. It's been my experience that practice fixes just about everything. But, being interesting is something you have to work at separate from approaching girls. Are you interesting? Do you do stuff other than pick up girls? Do you participate in interesting activities? Travel? Play in a band? Act in an improv troupe? Work with disadvantaged kids? Build houses for the homeless? Play team sports? Anything that makes you different from every other guy?

LesbianPUA · 2010-10-31T19:33:48+00:00

I think focusing on Wygant could be a good idea. He's the one I find most inspiring, and he is quite practical with his advice.

2010-10-31T19:40:18+00:00

I'm no pro but a pickup artist should not be a material spouting robot. You should be having as much fun as the girl you are macking. Pickup material should just be a guideline for you to be a better, more interesting man.

2010-11-01T14:05:01+00:00

I think if you're familiar with a bunch of content you've learned, know some strategies, understand cocky/funny, understand the general right attitude to go about talking to girls and the conversation is still not coming together, you should probably get back to basics and work on making yourself a more interesting person. You'll be more confident and have more subjects and stories to talk about.

lilninjalee · 2010-11-01T15:05:37+00:00

Its more a state of mind than anything else. I'm at my best when I don't really care about what anyone thinks, and just being honest. I think that too often we put a safety filter on what we do, what we say, what we wear, just do or say whatever you want. Women are here to worship you, not the other way around. You can say whatever you want because there are a million of them. Do you think that badass guys who get tons of girls care what they think, HELL NO! They're too busy being badass. Don't be afraid to talk about sex with them, look at porn in front of them, or invite them over later for a "private party" in your bedroom. BE FEARLESS. You will find yourself thinking much quicker/clearer without worrying so much. You are the prize. Menarebetterthanwomen I'm advising chauvinism, it works.

2010-11-01T18:10:51+00:00

Not only is there "a lot on the market", but most of it is utter bullshit.

Like any kind of self-help, seduction has some gems that can turn your life around.... surrounded by a bunch of shit which will only turn around the lives of the people selling it to you.

The hardest part is sorting out what parts of it are garbage.

As far as your actual problem....

To be a natural, you need to speak and act naturally. That means letting whatever thoughts you have become the words you speak.

You'll end up saying a lot of stupid shit to a lot of pretty girls. And that's totally fine.

But what you're doing is trying to force what you say to come out right the first time:

"Is my posture good? Is my posture good? Wait, should I be slouching to show I'm relaxed or standing up straight to appear confident? Is my language too formal? Am I holding eye contact too long? Oh shit! I forgot kino! Yeah, kino! No, she doesn't seem receptive to it. Should I back off?? No, I have to keep my frame."

It's all noise in your mind that disrupts your concentration. You can't be spontaneous or creative with that kind of chatter. What you say won't be witty. It will be stiff and stifled. You won't be able to remember any of it after 10 minutes, either, which is too bad, because you could have totally scored points if you did.

The right way is to say whatever stupid shit comes to mind, ignore all the bullshit you read on this forum. Let it all come straight from the heart. And watch it crash and burn when she seems disinterested after 5 minutes.

Save all the "PUA" crap for after hours, when you're alone. Was your posture good? Were you coming on too strong? Did you remember kino?

But those concepts are all worthless to you until you've made them into habits.

jmnugent · 2010-10-31T19:32:14+00:00

Personally I think PUA tactics are a big bag of fail... (and I'll probably get downvoted for saying that)..., But setting all that aside.. it sounds like you're just trying to hard. You're so wound up and worried about technique and strategy that you're failing to just relax and feel out the situation. ("go with the flow"). In any situation in life, a certain amount of success depends on instincts and being able to just relax and let the situation unfold as it was supposed to.

herpa_derp_derp · 2010-10-31T19:34:02+00:00

learn to be real and have substance. stop "practicing" to be someone you're not.

Title	The Pick Up Artist world is overwhelming me...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	14
Date	October 31, 2010 7:22 PM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/dz5vu/the_pick_up_artist_world_is_overwhelming_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/the-pick-up-artist-world-is-overwhelming-me.1312645 https://theredarchive.com/post/1312645

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