So I'm tagged as the "funny (in kind of a nerdy way)" guy in the group. I don't like it.

ApuaA · 2010-11-15T19:50:05+00:00

Long ago, while an AFC, I had a brief moment of clarity in which the stars were aligned she and I were just drunk enough and I had game for days. A lucky situation to be sure. One of my friends comes up behind me, puts a beer in my hand and says "Stop trying to be cool [ApuaA], you know you're going to whack off and read your comic books later." She lost interest almost immediately.

I went to him and said if he ever cockblocked me like that again, I'd shit on his bed. He told me to lighten up. I told him to fuck off and that his shit wasn't cool. He hasn't done it since.

Stand up for yourself. Run your game and if your "friends" fuck with it, tell them to knock it off. If they don't, they're not your friends.

Alternatively, if "basketball shorts" is AMOGing you, pick up some AMOG busting techniques. They work. I used them at a Halloween party.

jport · 2010-11-15T14:44:36+00:00

rock your style! they all want some, you just have to start acting like you know it. be more cocky about who you are.

philosarapter · 2010-11-15T15:15:08+00:00

Nah dude, embrace it. You have to start letting yourself shine more, not dampen it for other people's preferences. The "basketball shorts badass" gets girls because he's bold and doesn't shy away from whatever things he's about.

Listen here: Most girls are nerdy inside, they put on a certain face and act like how they believe they are supposed to, but what they are truly waiting for is a guy to come by and bust down those barriers and truly get to know them.

Find some "nerdy" topics in which everyone can relate on. Remember that all these girls at one point had something stupid they were obsessed with when they were younger. Find out what it was and tease them for it. Build some sexual attraction, be challenging, understand the importance of non-confirming actions (don't agree with everything they say, take a stand!), and give your words sexually charged double-meanings that makes a woman stop and think.

NakedOni · 2010-11-15T15:11:04+00:00

How does your group of friends think of the word "nerd"?

I'm asking because not every group sees it as a bad thing. Hipster girls always seem define themselves as nerds and they also seem to respond well to it (as long as you're the "Weezer nerd" and not the "WoW nerd"). The liberal arts types respond well to it sometimes, as long as they feel like you're a nerd because you read poetry and enjoying reading stuff from the Romantic period, etc. (or some other classroom type of literature that most people don't enjoy). Of course, sports fan/sorority types, in my experience, don't respond well.

Anyways, here's what I think you should do: first, don't get your panties in a wad about it, because then you'll just cock-block yourself. Second, turn "nerd" into a positive. It's called "spin"--a classic PR move. How you go about doing this depends somewhat on why they may think you're a "nerd".

It's possible that if you own this label proudly/confidently, you can use it to demonstrate value. I do. I openly describe myself as a nerd. It may sound cheesy, but I use the word to show that I'm intelligent (specifically/subliminally, more intelligent than the girl I'm talking to) and that I have good taste (specifically/subliminally, better taste than the girl I'm talking to). Example: I might say, "I'm kind of a music nerd--I'm really into a lot of different underground music"...if you're saying this to a hipster girl, she will get competitive and try to be more music elitist than you. Then you can just agree with her. If you handled that well enough, then she'll think you're cool, because it validates her self-esteem. You'll have to at least kind of know what you're talking about, though.

That's about all of the advice I can give you. I really only have "ammo" for music-nerd, literary-nerd and film-nerd. I wouldn't play the gaming-nerd card unless absolutely certain the girl is into gaming (doubtful). Anyways, I hope my little spiel helps some.

*Edit: I also agree with uniq, it's a good idea to have a few different groups of friends that have different impressions of you.

2010-11-15T11:33:14+00:00

[permanently deleted]

oatmeals · 2010-11-15T13:13:25+00:00

Can you provide a feel examples of your interactions?

Mouthpiece · 2010-11-15T14:37:03+00:00

If you were able to post more detail, we'd really love to help.

2010-11-15T14:40:14+00:00

How does this tagging manifests? I presume nobody is physically putting a literal tag on you. The reason I'm asking is because sometimes the easies wat to change stuff is attacking it when it happens rather than trying to overhaul your personality or anything like that.

on_the_dl · 2010-11-15T15:52:07+00:00

Am I not approaching this correctly?

People have an opinion about you and it's stressing you out. That's a bad way to live. Answer these:

Who are you? (Are you actually funny-in-kind-of-a-nerdy-way?)
Who do you want to be? (Do you want to be FIKOANW?)
What do you want people think of you? (Do you want them to think that you are FIKOANW?)
What do you project? (Do you act FIKOANW?)
What do people think of you? (Do they think that you're FIKOANW?)

Ideally, all those have identical answers for any trait. Sounds like, for you:

Yes
???
No
???
Yes

If 2 is "yes" then fuck them. Ask yourself why you care what they think or why you want to fake who you are. If 2 is "no" then ask yourself why you continue to be something you don't want to be. I read somewhere, maybe on therawness.com, that anytime those answers answer don't line up will be a source of unhappiness.

2010-11-15T20:46:49+00:00

You probably lack confidence and try to make up for it by being a dancing monkey. There's a difference between having a sense of humor and constantly trying to entertain people. Be more confident, stick your chest out, and don't be afraid to call people out on their shit.

Then again, I'm only assuming that this will help you, because you posted like no information about yourself...

ThrowawayPUA · 2010-11-16T01:09:19+00:00

I'm listening to a PUA seminar (20 hours down, only 20+ more to go!) and one of the topics that just came up is humor. They said that humor is usually reactive, you make funny remarks about what other people say or do. So you are reacting to their frame. So you have to keep your frame and not do humor so excessively that you get labeled the "funny guy."

2010-11-16T02:24:55+00:00

Don't sweat being the funny guy. If it wasn't for being the funny guy, I'd never get laid. It's pretty much my best quality and without it I probably wouldn't have as much success with women.

Title	So I'm tagged as the "funny (in kind of a nerdy way)" guy in the group. I don't like it.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	17
Date	November 15, 2010 10:44 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/e6bhr/so_im_tagged_as_the_funny_in_kind_of_a_nerdy_way/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-im-tagged-as-the-funny-in-kind-of-a-nerdy-way.1312983 https://theredarchive.com/post/1312983

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