How soon can you tell whether or not she's someone you'd actually want to talk to?

2011-01-13T02:30:17+00:00

Is it that they aren't interesting or are you protecting yourself from rejection by disqualifying them in your head?

If it's the former, 1/5 women you meet are ones you'd like to go out on a date with isn't too bad (20%). Of all the people you meet in life how many become close friends? A much smaller percentage of that. Also, if a physically attractive girl is throwing you IOIs but doesn't seem overly interesting, why not ask her out? A lot of people aren't being real in pressurized social situations. Worse case you spend some time with someone, find they aren't for you, and never see them again. Best case, you discover there's more to someone than you first thought.

2011-01-13T02:57:12+00:00

keep in mind that some girls are also only out for sex, and not necessarily a relationship. if you're not looking for a relationship, then what the hell does it matter if you don't like the same kind of music or bullshit hobbies?

afcanonymous · 2011-01-13T02:54:18+00:00

Are you out there for practice or for results?

2011-01-13T03:20:37+00:00

Just try to keep in mind that just about everyone hates the small talk conversation starters. The real key is converting from small talk to something meaningful before the boredom sabotages your motivation. I typically stick to the cadence of their speech, speed / whit of their responses and their aggressiveness. I like the aggressive ones. Too passive and quiet and I will probably move on.

ThrowawayPUA · 2011-01-13T06:11:11+00:00

Make her qualify herself more. Find something in her worth exploring.

frogma · 2011-01-13T05:03:50+00:00

My first impressions of girls are usually a little off. Most of the girlfriends I've had, I would never have gone out with if I had judged them by the first conversation (and some I can't believe I ever thought were gf material). My impressions aren't wrong, per se, but it's very easy for a girl to turn me off initially, and then they start growing on me after a while- or vice versa. Just always keep in mind that no matter how mean/insecure/uptight/stupid/cool a girl might seem at first, one conversation, or even a day or a week, isn't enough time to be able to accurately judge a person's character- unless they have some really extreme characteristic (like being constantly serious or completely retarded).

Mouthpiece · 2011-01-13T22:24:18+00:00

the second she begins to speak I think to myself "I don't really care about trying to maintain conversation with this person."

To me, this sounds like it's about you, not about them—and it's not so much about indifference as it is fear posing as indifference.

Set your self a goal of trying to find out at least one interesting thing about a person you're talking to. Hell, make it an exercise: go to a public place, do cold approaches, and just ask them to tell them something interesting about themselves. (Tell them you're taking a psych or communications class, if it makes you feel better.)

Edit: What Throwaway and Tofu said.

Dyvyant · 2011-01-14T08:34:17+00:00

Do keep in mind that people aren't at their most interesting and appealing right when you first meet them. People are typically more polite, proper, and less loose the first few times they talk to someone. I'd say you have to give it a few good conversations to really tell if someone is interesting to be around.

There are plenty of people I've met who seemed very charismatic at first glance, but were actually boring/pathetic/mean when I got to know them better, and it took quite some time for me to discover the deeply intriguing bits of some of my closest friends.

Title	How soon can you tell whether or not she's someone you'd actually want to talk to?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	5
Comments	9
Date	January 13, 2011 12:04 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/f17v6/how_soon_can_you_tell_whether_or_not_shes_someone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-soon-can-you-tell-whether-or-not-shes-someone.1314520 https://theredarchive.com/post/1314520

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