I'm a really driven person, and when I set out on a new project, I go all or nothing. The times I’ve used pick-up material, I’ve been very successfully and have gotten f-closes each time (I’m planning on doing a couple field reports later on highlighting the techniques I used and what I learned from each encounter).

My ultimate goal is to be with someone and become emotionally committed. I realize this isn’t exactly the best thing to look for when using pickup. The result is that I only have the motivation to use pick-up on girls that I feel I could build a meaningful connection with. I realize you may be thinking, "you’ve just met her... there's no way you could know if you could really have something with these girls..." but they’ve been some of the most amazing people I've met in my life.

I can’t bring myself to pick up a girl who I don’t think I’ll have that connection with though. Now, I don’t necessarily date all the girls I pick up, some I just have a one-night stand with, but at the core of what attracts me is the personality that they have and the potential there is for a deep connection.

This wouldn’t be a problem at all, but I’ve found that girls I have a genuine interest in are few and far apart… I get the feeling that my standards may be set to high, or even that I just don’t give girls a chance and I don’t bother getting to know them well enough before dismissing them. So after spending time with new girls I meet I may eventually get the idea that the connection I’m looking for isn’t there. I get turned off on her and end the interaction (much to her chagrin).

I’m wondering if anyone else has felt the same way about this? And I’m wondering how you’ve been able to really take an interest in everyone you’ve met. How have you developed yourself as a person who wants to meet, know, and understand everyone, and more importantly how have you worked to find an interest in everyone you come across?

This has definitely kept me from wanting to practice pickup more, and I’m sure there are others starting out who may feel the same way, so I’m asking for help from those more experienced, how do you get interested and stay interested in all the girls and people you meet?

I know that above all else, the art of flirting and pickup should be FUN, and it is, but there’s always that bit of doubt that creeps into my mind that “this isn’t the person you’re looking for…” and that ends the enjoyment I get out of it. When I have a drink I never get this feeling, but drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. So if anyone has had issues with this let me know how you dealt with it.