Another great night out with the /r/bayareaseddit group. I had been having a shitty week dealing with oneitis and bronchitis. Decided to go out anyway despite trying to cough out a lung every few minutes. Have to say, trying not to cough and talk while in set, has been the hardest thing I've had to do in a while.

I'm a little pissed because majority of my night had spent in AA chode state. It wasn't until the end when I said fuck it and approached, that anything good happened. I realize I still have fairly big AA, but I really shouldn't. Making my first approach I remembered the excitement of opening a new set. I really need to keep that feeling in mind in the future to use as my motivation to not be a chode.

Set 1: HB6, and a guy dancing right in front of a table my target (hb7) was sitting at

Me: Hey is that friend sitting behind you I walked up and approached the guy
Him: Yea
Me: Do you mind if I talk to her?
Him: No, not at all moves aside
Me: I move in You look really bored.
HB7: Oh no, I'm just chilling here.
Me: Sorry, let me rephrase that. You look like you're having the most fun out of everyone here delivered with smile and sarcastically
HB7: laughs and instantly opens up

Rest of the set was a mixture of fluff and just playful banter. She interrupted the conversation at one point to ask me my name then went on to introduce me to the rest of her group. Apparently guy had no rhythm and hb6 was trying to teach him how to dance. I decided to show him some ridiculous white people dance moves, think like Kevin James dancing in Hitch. I got great laughs out of that.

Ejected after a bit. Found her later as the place was closing to try to number close, but she was busy looking for her friends and took off.

*

The Number Close - 2 set HB8's sitting on a couch

I approached with a wing.

Wing: Are these VIP seats?
HB's: No
Me: I see some space on the couch Can I sit here? Nevermind, I'm going to sit anyway cause I'm tired. I sit down and both HB8's scoot over and make room for me
Wing: Says this as I'm sitting down Have you met my fried SOBH? He rescues cats. He then goes to sit over on the side of the couch to talk to the other HB8
Me: Turning to the HB8 immediately next to me Yup, I rescuse cats, but my day job is an animal euthanizer.
HB8: giggles a little, but kind of looks like she doesn't know what I just said
Me: Do you know what an euthanizer is?
HB8: No
Me: Oh haha, that sucks, it was a pretty funny joke. Euthanizer is just a nice way to say they kill animals. So i rescue cats, and then kill them.
HB8: big laugh

Conversation goes on to various topics, some fluff, some teasing. Things like where she's from, what she's doing. I learn she's Taiwanese and immediately start speaking mandarin to her. I learn that she's a fashion journalist, and had gone to NY fashion week. I wanted to take advantage of that thread and try out the yes ladder.

Me: Did you meet any of the models there?
HB8: No i'm not a model she mis heard me
Me: No, I mean did you meet any of the models there? Are they tall?
HB8: Yea they're mostly tall.
Me: Are you tall? I can't tell with you sitting. I stand up and face her
Me: Give me your hands she complies
Me: Stand up i tug a little at her hands, she complies
Me: You're pretty tall which is a huge plus for me. She had heels on and came up to my forehead. I'm 6' guy
Me: Let me see what you have on, spin around I'm still holding her hands so I guide her in a spin. She's smiling and grinning the whole time
Me: Very nice, I can tell you have some style sitting back down right next her, legs touching

There was quite a bit of kino during our entire reaction. Legs touching a lot. A lot of light back of the hand touching on her leg during the conversation. Getting in close at one point to talk about her friends at the bar. My arms around her to guide her as we looked around the bar. But the whole time my calibration was off, I really didn't think she was interested at all the entire time. She seemed just in it to have someone to talk to. But the number close came fairly surprising to me.

I had jsut learned she doesn't have too many friends to hang out with. Just school friends.

Me: You know what, I'll be your friend. We'll hang out sometime.
HB8: Really? How would we do that?
Me: I don't know what do you mean? We'll just go and hang out sometime.
HB8: Do you have facebook?
Me: No, I don't use facebook much.
HB8: What really??
Me: Yea, I don't see what the big deal is about it. If I want to talk to someone I prefer to use this other thing that they invented way before facebook?
HB8: oh, what's that?
Me: They call it the telephone.
HB8: laughs a little.

Then the craziest mind blowing thing. She reaches both hands out and makesa grabbing motion like she's expecting me to hand her something. I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone and hand it to her. She immediately takes it, punches in her number then calls herself.

Me: I'm going to put your first name down as [HB8] and last name as 'Fashion' that way I'll remember what you do. Next time I go shopping I'm going to call you and you're going to be my personal stylist.

I stay in set a little longer to talk about what she likes to do. Trying to figure out what date 1 could possibly be. She likes photography, so I figure scenic hiking will be great. She seemed into the idea. I eject and give her a hug as I leave.

Text Game After Club Closes:

I send HB8 a light text a few minutes after club closes.

Me: Hey fashion stylist, great meeting you. We'll hang out soon unless you're friends take you away. ;) I did the friends take you away because she mentioned not having many friends that she goes out with
HB8: Yep lets hang out!!!! :) not two minutes after my first text

Things I Learned/Did Right

  • Opening the first set by going to guy. Not all guys are scarey or assholes. The dude was super chill and I taught him some dance moves albeit hilarious.
  • Turning down the facebook to get a number instead.
  • Lots of kino and at the right times.
  • yes-ladder was successful. I got really see how hot she was and it was fun.
  • Being ok with silence. At times in my convo with the hb8, it lulled a bit, or she would stop talking and just lean back on the couch. I was a bit nervous at first, but instead I just leaned back as well and relaxed for a little while looking around the bar. Eventually she reinitiated convo most of the time and sometimes I'd come up with a question to ask.
  • Fluff isn't always bad. Just remember to use fluff to look for more threads to follow for the convo and not miss out on opportunties to tease or entertain. HB8 and I talked about how we picked our english names. I made fun of her because she just picked whatever started with the letter A. And I have a great name story where I picked my name after my favorite cartoon character (true story).
  • Manning the fucking up and approaching the mixxed 3 set.
  • Great wing for my # close set. We both opened, then both divided and isolated.

Things to Improve/did wrong

  • Not so much kino on first set. And subsequently pussied out on the number close in set. I tried to do it on the way out, but situation made it impossible. I'll try to close more in set, but there's one problem I need to fix before that and that is:
  • I need to learn to calibrate better. The number close was a complete surprise. I really didn't think she was that interested, but looking back there were IOI's I hadn't seen. But I have to say, kino, eye contact and that spin probably had a lot to do with setting me apart from the rest of the guys she met that night.
  • I need to stop being a chode and approaching. This night could have easily gone the opposite direction where I stood around like a chode not opening any sets at all. A terrible terrible step back and I was on the brink of it happening. I just need to say fuck it and approach. Practice is more important than anything else.
  • I've been lucky in my sets. I need to start getting terrible blows outs to really help me get over AA.