So I went out with the intention of talking to women..didn't happen.

VLLin9 · 2011-05-30T06:28:13+00:00

A lot of the issues I first faced was the "why" aspect of picking up women and isolating the causes. Why did I want to pick up the girl. Why did I feel pressured, why did I feel like crap when I got blown out, etc. When I isolated those causes, it helped my approaches a ton. I'll explain.

The answer to most of my "why" questions were that I felt socially obligated to get a hot girl. Society rewards the man that gets the hot girl with high-fives and respect, while ridiculing the guy that gets blown out. A lot of my attraction to women came from the fact that I was trying to impress everyone around me, rather than because I was genuinely attracted to a girl. I then realized "I'm not doing this for everybody else, I'm doing this for me" but it took breaking down the causes of how I interacted socially in order for me to fully grasp this concept.

Another realization I came across is that conversations don't always go smoothly, but this happens because its normal. Girls expect conversations to go they way they do in their fantasies, and when they don't they get turned off (broad over-generalization, I know). Silences are a normal part of conversation, and once I realized that these silences are absolutely normal, its easier to deal with. Now, when I employ the techniques that I learned to carry on a conversation, it becomes much easier to get the girl. But when a conversation comes to a hitch, I know that its perfectly normal and just think of something else to say without freaking out.

Just feel good about yourself, and don't immediately focus on the close. If you think too much in broad terms you're gonna get nervous because you want to orchestrate every move leading up to the date or further, and thinking about how to perfect every move is going to make you nervous.

Next time you see a few hot girls walk your way, ask for the time. Do this with several other hot girls you see (10-15 minimum) Don't even think about extending the conversation, just say "thank you" and walk by. This does 2 things, 1. it desensitizes the approach and 2. it takes focus off of the conversation. After you're comfortable with the approach, ask 10-15 girls for the time the next day and ask how their day is or randomly compliment them on a piece of clothing they're wearing, and walk away. This is more tricky but you will get great responses from most of these girls as long as you're confident and have a great smile. Besides, you're just asking for the time. You aren't setting expectations for yourself that you didn't meet. After this, extend into conversation, then closing, etc. It might be slower this way, but its easier than setting ridiculous expectations then feeling discouraged every time because you didn't meet them.

VLLin9 · 2011-05-30T05:56:36+00:00

[permanently deleted]

TofuTofu · 2011-05-30T05:23:24+00:00

The first 1000 approaches don't count. Rock out with your cock out. You're there to have fun and get experience. EXPECT to be blown out so when it doesn't happen, you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Changing53011 · 2011-05-30T05:01:28+00:00

I am not an expert on the game but I'll tell u what I do. I have told myself that all women - hb1 to hb10 have the same feelings as other humans. When I go upto them....I am not going there to hit on then...I am just going to have a conversation....if they don't want to talk....I just walk away....always be ready to walk away.....infact....I almost alwas walk away to come back later....that shows them u don't give a shit about them being hot

perchrc · 2011-05-30T16:03:55+00:00

I think it's very common to feel the way you feel. Accept that social interaction is extremely hard and realize that you need experience with it. That being your situation, don't you think it's better to try and fail than to not try at all? I for one believe that the people who are most successful in life are also the ones who have done the most mistakes.

The next time you hear that negative voice in your head, tell it to shut up. Force yourself to think about something else. It worked for me.

Also you should know that the last two girls I had sex with didn't seem very interested in me the first time I met them. They were both polite when I first started talking to them, but nothing more. Are you sure the girls you saw where uninterested and not just indifferent?

heckz · 2011-05-30T05:55:36+00:00

Yeah also. Don't be discouraged.. it's natural for people to be suspicious if approached randomly by a stranger.. i mean they have to be wondering why this person is doing it. So don't take people not showing active interest personally. Sometimes it takes overcoming the initial resistance for them to realize it is just a cool, interesting person coming to talk. Also, it sounds like you need to work on just approaching random people even if it has nothing to do with picking up. Try asking random people what time it is, where the closest starbucks is, where the post office is etc. Start with guys or old people or people you have no interest in. Then start adding in women. If one responds well, then you can say that you didn't actually need to know anything and you just wanted to talk to them because they were cute.

maxormis · 2011-05-30T07:31:15+00:00

For beginners just ask anybody on the street for the time. Then ask for directions. Practice 5 of both. That should put you in a talkative mood. Asking for the time is really easy but also useless as there are not many ways to go from there, asking for directions though can quickly create good conversations.

Practice on everybody first. I promise you 10 of those will put you into state where you're eager to talk to the nice girls next. You can ask those for places to shop or to party. ("You look like a party/fashion girl..","Hi I really like you're outfit..")

Be observant about them and what they say, high state, cocky and funny, neg them (it will all come naturally when you've done enough approaches) and you will create attraction. From there ask (better order) them to come help you shopping or tell them that they're fun but you have to meet a friend now but you and them will be rocking the house tonite (hand phone to them to type in their number)

blue_penguin · 2011-05-30T17:38:38+00:00

It's honestly not that difficult to talk to girls. Girls are just human, too. Sometimes a simple (seemingly boring) topic can be a great opener, like the weather. I mean, it's inane, but it's something we all know about and can have an opinion on to some degree. And most people enjoy talking about themselves, so asking questions (and appearing interested in the answer) is always good. And have a bit more confidence! If you get knocked back, so be it. Everyone does now and then. Try not to take it personally and keep on going.

sparrowpua · 2011-05-30T19:05:43+00:00

I dressed up, showered, and got ready to go approach some girls. I was looking pretty good i guess... This all took a while

I feel you. I'm scared. There's no trick, especially when you're by yourself. Sometimes in life, you just have to do the hard stuff. Sometimes, you're too afraid. Don't give up though.

Do a search for a guy named Lapuma. He's a wingman of mine. He was telling me about a PUA who has exercises that may seriously help you. Do a search for Lapuma, tell him I was talking with you, and ask him whose PUA material he likes the most. It's stuff that should help you slowly get used to talking with women on the street.

2011-05-30T06:02:27+00:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSJxvi767kQ

Listen to this on repeat until it sinks in.

Title	So I went out with the intention of talking to women..didn't happen.
Author	VLLin9
Upvotes	12
Comments	15
Date	May 30, 2011 4:45 AM UTC (15 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/hn9hl/so_i_went_out_with_the_intention_of_talking_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/so-i-went-out-with-the-intention-of-talking-to.1318824 https://theredarchive.com/post/1318824

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