Seddit, how do I stop being an asshole?

branrt · 2011-10-31T22:35:42+00:00

I'm in this phase too. Several weeks ago, I saw a site that detailed the phases for going from a nice guy to an alpha male, and inevitably, you become an asshole for a while until you hit an equilibrium. Keep working to improve yourself is my advice, and just keep learning.

IBringAIDS · 2011-10-31T22:33:13+00:00

Watch your interactions carefully and find out what the external things you're doing that make you come off like a dick. It can be as simple as ignoring people while they're talking, to not even looking people in the eye, to insulting people or being too sarcastic.

Think about your mindset and see how it relates to other people; do you look at other people as merely objects to get what you desire? Are you actually interested in women as people, or do you like getting with them just because you can? Do you believe yourself to be above other people, or feel that regular people are "below" you?

Tangent: The concept of value is one of the biggest problems that I have with MM... for a long time, I bought into the idea that I was above other people, better than them, and if they didn't have something I wanted, then I wouldn't even talk to them. Even though I had this mindset, I was still getting results. It honestly didn't hit me how bad it was, though, until a good friend of mine commented that the few times she came out with me I gave off this "Don't talk to me, because I'm better than you" vibe. It was pretty bad.

I basically re-examined myself and threw out alot of the ideas that I had adopted because of the MM concept of value and took a completely different approach -- I liked people and I was just going to be interested in people for who they were. I'm now much friendlier and approachable than I was before and it's alot easier for me to "connect" with someone. I've had no shortage of lays and numbers with this mindset and I've become a much "nicer" person in general.

puaCurveBall · 2011-10-31T22:11:08+00:00

Try more direct game. As cliche as the advice is, channel your inner James Bond / George Clooney.

Bobsutan · 2011-11-01T04:06:02+00:00

You're breaking rapport too much. You have to have the women comfortable with you before you do it, and every time you do so you've got to rebuild a little comfort afterwards. If all you do is constantly breaking rapport, like busting on them, then you're going to come across like an asshole.

redditor_for_n_years · 2011-11-01T13:47:02+00:00

It's ok to come across as a dick as long as it's not coming from a place of insecurity. Most people can tell when someone is covering up their weakness with dickery. You need to have a long look at yourself and ask yourself why you are being such a dick. Are you trying to shut people down before they can shut you down? Are you trying to cover up some weakness or avoid being seen as a pushover?

2011-11-01T22:15:29+00:00

You're still Mr.Nice Guy wearing a mask. Read the book No Mr Nice Guy by Robert Glover

Uptonogood · 2011-11-01T05:08:00+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Seddit, how do I stop being an asshole?
Author	branrt
Upvotes	11
Comments	15
Date	October 31, 2011 9:47 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/lvo51/seddit_how_do_i_stop_being_an_asshole/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/seddit-how-do-i-stop-being-an-asshole.1324439 https://theredarchive.com/post/1324439

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