Is nervousness in a girl a sign of interest or fear?

nhnifong · 2012-01-22T01:04:21+00:00

Me: "Want to see Shaun of the Dead at the free student Cinema later?"

Her: "I have to go back to work now"

Me: "Wait do you want to go?"

Her: "I don't know"

That means no, dude. Seems clear enough to me. It sounds like you had a somewhat awkard, forced conversation, and then you asked for a date. I'd be more surprised if she'd said "yes".

Edit: Also, why "free student cinema"? Why not just "student cinema"? Not to nitpick, but that makes you sound cheap.

yellow_stone · 2012-01-22T02:25:59+00:00

Sounds like you had multiple cues of disinterest. Instead of getting her interested, you asked her out, jumping the gun!

PS: Going to a movie as a first date is usually a bad move.

SlothOfDoom · 2012-01-22T00:01:22+00:00

Most people are nervous when strangers come and talk to them in a coffee shop. Asking for a movie date right off the bat might have been a bit heavy if she was still really nervous.

"I don't know" probably meant "I don't know". Personally I would have said something more like "Shaun of the Dead is playing at the free student cinema and I was going to go, it would be cool if I saw you there" which would have left it a little ambiguous, but would have given her a safety net or two.

Nukaze · 2012-01-22T04:01:31+00:00

As soon as she said "I have to go back to work now" you should have said "Ok, bye." Nothing more, nothing less. Try to be something worth fighting for

brygphilomena · 2012-01-22T05:17:39+00:00

I'd say neither. It sounded more awkward. I'd go in with more of a reason to converse. Have a story or question to talk to her about so I don't have to force conversations. Not to say you can't talk to a girl without some bullshit cover, but it doesn't sound like you are there yet.

It sounds to me like you need more work calibrating. But good on you for having the balls to go for it. From your post, it also sounds like you had low energy (or just off energy for the situation). When she says something is interesting (even if it's BS) talk it up a bit. Have a conversation about something, not just a barrage of questions.

DrLio · 2012-01-22T00:31:07+00:00

Interest or Fear? If I only have those two choices I will go with fear... If I have to take a quick guess in the field (to calibrate), I will say it is her personality, she could be shy and socially awkward.

If she doesn't show up, don't think she is not interested, and if you see her again don't be afraid to approach.

carpeDeezNuts · 2012-01-22T05:53:59+00:00

I use to be like you, every girl I approached I assumed they were interested in me.

It's like your consciousness is trying to protect your ego...which is wrong on so many levels. No, they are not head over heels over you, they don't even know you. Love at first sight? That shit is only lust. As wise men have said, attraction begins when the girl feels comfortable.

Alphas don't think about sex when they are next to the girl he's interested in. It's a turn off. Focus on her environment, make her comfortable, get the girl.

30vanquish · 2012-01-22T00:17:02+00:00

Not enough comfort/rapport. Even if she is into you (which seems 50-50) you needed to chat with her more about that small talk. Since it said you talked about your work and her work, how long did you two chat?

Next time it would be better to go: Her work, your work, internships, how internships save money, save money for stuff like movies, ask her bout the movies she is into, then "your movie taste is cool, give me your # and we'll watch one together"

2012-01-22T02:13:04+00:00

If you worry that she might be frightened of you, I think you have some things you need to be doing to not appear so scary.

Title	Is nervousness in a girl a sign of interest or fear?
Author	nhnifong
Upvotes	26
Comments	29
Date	January 21, 2012 11:55 PM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/oqszl/is_nervousness_in_a_girl_a_sign_of_interest_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-nervousness-in-a-girl-a-sign-of-interest-or.1327241 https://theredarchive.com/post/1327241

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