Part One: AFC

I met this girl in October through some mutual friends. She's hot, a "strong" type, and swears like a sailor. We find each other very entertaining.

At this point, I was going through some lows and trying to break out of being an AFC. I'm a senior in undergrad, by the way. I started drinking a lot around this point and getting unmotivated. Historically, I've had a problem with being assertive.

Anyway, I didn't show her much attention but eventually she seemed interested in me. As I said, we find each other very entertaining. She seemed interested in me because she seemed a little irritated that I didn't go to a party she threw and she asked if I was hanging with other ladies or something like that. Anyway, I didn't do a whole lot and she told one of my friends, "I wish he didn't like me. He's so nice." He told her I didn't like her. At first I was a little frustrated that my friend went and said this, but this may have helped me in the long run.

By the way, I've only met this girl sober once. I needed someone to interview for a class project, so I interviewed her. I was shy and she called me out for not asking her certain questions. She always tells people (including her mom) about this interview though. Not sure why she was so obsessed.

Also, whenever I'd start talking about anything remotely intellectual, she'd cut me down. At this point in my life, whenever I met people, I'd always start talking about what I'm passionate about. Most people suck and don't have any passion, so they'd react negatively. One time, I asked some girl what she wanted to do with her degree. Her reaction: "I hate that question." This bothered me as an AFC. Then, I learned that it's not a part of night life to immediately start talking about your professional shit and work.

Part Two: I'm fucking awesome

Whatever. I wasn't very bothered by this.

Anyway, I started trying many different new activities (e.g., basketball, martial arts). I'm not a very athletic guy so it was pretty rough and discouraging at times... particularly basketball. I started lifting again and now I'm on my most consistent exercise streak (a few months long). So, this combination of activities (along with changing my mindset, being assertive) caused my confidence to grow exponentially. I'm excited by learning new things. (Theoretically, when the learning is just challenging enough, that is what we call "fun".) I don't take shit from people, and I do what interests me. I've always had an awesome intellect, but I used that to develop social confidence and savvy. My friends have told me that I've changed significantly and called me "very cool".

I hang out with this girl and some other friends sometimes at the bar still. I've gotten better at not taking her seriously. She would throw shit tests at me about my "lack of athleticism" (yeah right) and other stuff that I would turn around. I started calling her a slut/bitch at some point because she'd talk about fucking, be texting some guy, or something like that. She seemed very anti-intellectual.

Let me take a step back. I find her incredibly fun. I think I like strong girls since they're so damn challenging. They also do what they want, and are not passive followers.

I also started not giving her all of my attention. I'd come late if she invited me or ignore her comments because I was in the middle of a fucking conversation with my other friends. I also remember calling her dumber than a box of rocks at one point and telling her she didn't have any interests besides drinking. She's a lightweight but she's always drunk. Basically, I was being a little mean but, most importantly, not compliant.

Part Three: The Last Week

She called me last night to come to the bar, which is very unusual since I've only talked to her on the phone once. She usually ignores my texts. I just answered, "What?" and she called me a faggot and told me to go the bar. I said maybe in a while.

I got to the bar. It was me, her, and her dude friend who I've become friends with through good conversation. I've gotten to like this guy, and our conversations flow really well. If she and he are talking to me at the same time, I give him attention first because he has more interesting things to say. She's become very cliche with her swearing and lack of depth, and I pointed this out.

At one point, I showed her some texts some girl was sending me with indicators of interest. There was some fucked up shit I wanted their reaction to. Later, I also mentioned that I went out to dinner earlier with a girl (just an old friend).

Next, I've been approached by a girl/woman in each of the last three times I've gone out. (One was a cougar!) She has been there to witness two of these. When she witnessed me getting approached last night, her tone changed completely.

Suddenly, we were alone and she started saying that she has passion for helping people do x. She apologized for being mean to me and asked if I saw her as a dumb girl who just hangs out at the bar. I said yes because she just talks about sex and nothing deep. She replied that we should hang out sober so I can see what she's more like. We could have a discussion over lunch or something, she suggested. I told her that sounded like a fun idea. I'll ask her in a few days, but I didn't say this. She also mentioned that I'm pretty shy (based on our interview meeting) but I told her that I'm not the same person I was a few months ago.

We also had some discussion about why she doesn't talk about intellectual stuff at night. She didn't really give a good reason but I definitely called her out for it. I think it's somewhat acceptable since this is part of how night life works. I think she saw this as being too nice to her based off what she did next.

She asked me some stuff about her hair and used it as a shit test. "You're not just saying that to be nice, are you?" I said no, I generally prefer this kind of hair because x. Then she kissed me.

A few minutes later she starting talking about how cool I was. She pointed at some random dude we know and she he was a fucking loser compared to me. Her dude friend that she came to the bar with returned and looked on. She later told me that she doesn't really like him that much. She kissed me another time.

Some of the flirting and kino we went through was pretty normal but I've never heard her apologize, ask to hang out sober, and be intellectual. She also did escalate kino a little bit more than what I've experienced before. Wow. I feel like I've gotten out of the friend zone. I'll ask her to lunch in a few days and we'll see what happens.

I left the bar around 12:40 am (about 15 minutes after this) because I wanted to get up at a decent time and do stuff the next day.

What do you think?

P.S., I fucking hate how hard it is to format these walls of text. I'm trying to figure it out. Fuck your shitty interface, Reddit.

P.P.S., that night, we also talked about masturbation and her bicuriousity. Interesting times.