Just ended a four year relationship. I'd been out a few times since but had been pretty well buzzed up those times. This was the first time I'd been out with the intention of "pick-up" on my mind. As it was valentines day I figured it would be easy picking. Not quite, but still had a decent time. I surprisingly got very nervous before going out. I've never had a lot of trouble with women, but I've never had a TON of luck either.

Went to one bar and only one girl inside with a guy. I ended up chatting with another guy for a bit and had a beer. Left to head back towards my usual hangout. Passed a few busy bars on the way and decided to hit those up on the way back. At my bar I was by myself for a minute before a few guys I had met the other night walked in. I moved my stuff over by them and sat down.

We ended up doing some shots and shooting some shit. At this point I was happy I approached them, as I they are usually around and it gave me a group to fall back on. We commiserated over no ladies being around, but whatever. About half an hour later a few groups of girls walked in.

I was eyeing this one girl on the outskirts of a group and after about twenty minutes approached her.

"Hi, I'm TBAR, how's your valentines day going?" "Great, how about yours?"

Me and HB7 chatted it up for a bit. I was able to thread conversation for about 10 minutes before I had nothing. Basically just talked about what she was doing, where she was from myself, etc. I eventually ended up convincing her (through mild negging) to try a very hoppy beer I wanted. I tried to maintain solid eye contact but i noticed myself glancing away quite a bit. I walked away, got it, burned a few minutes, and went back to her.

She said if she didn't like it I had to buy her a beer. We went back and forth with me teasing and eventually we agreed on an outcome. She took a drink and said she liked it. I accused her of lying. Either way she seemed to enjoy my company. I used mild kino but never really escalated a bunch. I went to use the bathroom and she was chatting with other girls when I came back.

At that point I thought about approaching other women but it's a small bar and there wasn't a whole lot of talent around. I eventually just finished my beer and then grabbed her on my way out.

"Hey, HB7, I've got a really early meeting tomorrow but I think you are really cute and I enjoyed talking to you. How about you put your number in my phone?"

"Sorry, I didn't mean to lead you on but I have a boyfriend."

"No problem, it was really nice talking to you." "Me too."

I left. A few questions and comments:

  • I should have approached others in between. I felt like I had a good thing with her and I didn't want to screw it up. Mistake.
  • Should have maintained better eye contact.
  • Had trouble threading conversation, I dont' think anything will help this except more experience.
  • Should have escalated faster. I used mild kino on her arms but that's as far as I know. I feel awkward progressing further. Need to just get more "handsy" quicker. Also need to get more aggressive with my words rather than trying to find out her life story.

All in all a decent night. I told myself at the beginning I wanted four approaches. That said, I think making myself known to a group of guys that are always around was more valuable in the long run. Maybe I'm wrong.

What does seddit think? I intend to post often around here now that I am single and want to get into the scene.

TL;DR: Met a good group of guys to hang out with on a regular basis at my bar. Met a HB7 and approached and escalated a bit and broke away. When I tried to #close she told me she was sorry for leading me on but she had a boyfriend. I kindly thanked her and left. What should i have done different, if anything? I chalk it up to learning.