I broke up with my gf of a year a couple months ago, 2 days later I began reading No More Mister Nice Guy, before that I never felt comfortable casually dating or even kissing a girl without it turning into something. Every weekend my friend who I met at a mens support group has BBQ's at his place. Before it was heating up we were tossing around a football until I jammed my ringfinger, which is still pretty swollen.

Anyway, he introduced me to this lady he's been working with for a bit, gorgeous green eyes, nice hair, amazing body, I'll call her hbgreeneyes. I talked to her for a minute, compared tatts; a few more dudes started showing up and I became a little more competitive for her attention. I excused myself to check on the grill, it was then I started thinking...I can either keep talking to hbgreeneyes or I can have fun, giving me a better chance in the long run. It wasn't until this morning that I realized a girl is going to respond better to the guy who's chatting everyone up, laughing and joking around, rather than the guy who follows her around all night struggling to make conversation.

After a couple drinks and a few more people show up I'm talking to everyone there, just being playful and enjoying myself. I get my carne asada (skirt steak for all the East Coasters) from the grill, and have hbgreeneyes chop it up nice, telling her she's gotta have a taco, so I brown a tortilla after mine are toasted. A little more joking and laughing, I ask her to help me find my drink in the other room, so I grab her hand, lead her into the living room. She asks where my drink is at, I tell her it's over to my right, at this point I'm staring into her eyes, she stares back, we just start kissing...I'll leave it at that. The whole time I'm holding a small bag of ice for my jammed finger, lol.

Afterwards I thought about how I'll see hbgreeneyes again at another BBQ, maybe we'll go further, maybe we won't, and maybe she'll be fooling around with some other guy. The big step for me is being open to this world of casual dating, hooking up, and enjoying women instead of insecurely claiming them in hopes they don't leave me. Thanks for reading.