Feeling disinterested in certain social situations, is it a subconscious AA?

Epoh · 2012-07-30T07:21:04+00:00

God damnit this is the me I hate to admit as true.

psyocal · 2012-07-30T18:25:10+00:00

This is common for anyone who isn’t or hasn’t gotten any (sex, kiss, hug or even handshake) from a girl, in a while. You’re out of your comfort zone and it happens to everyone. Life gets in the way, and sometimes you won’t get a chance to socialize for days or even weeks. When you finally get to the party, bar or club, you feel unmotivated. You start giving yourself excuses, ‘I’m too tired,’ ‘she probably has a boyfriend,’ ‘I wonder what Johnny is doing, maybe I’ll text him’ and the list goes on. You lose motivation. It’s all mental.

On the other side of the spectrum you can have a great night that will lead to a series of great nights. You strike a conversation with a female stranger like it was nothing. That’s because it is nothing. She’s the 14th woman you’ve chatted up in the last 3 days. Those are the days when you never run out of things to say and rejections seem impossible. Even if you do get rejected, the memory is drowned out by the memories of success.

But as soon as life gets in the way, work related projects, family etc., you lose the motivation and ask yourself ‘how the hell was I so successful last (week, month) and today I can’t even say hello?’ And the memory of success becomes a doubtful figment of the imagination. You second guess yourself, wonder what you’ve done wrong; you search for any sort of logical explanation. You begin to focus on everything but the main goal; having fun.

This is the solution: CLEAR YOUR MIND, it’s getting in the way. Empty every thought and start fresh. Forget about yesterday, and don’t focus on tomorrow – live in the moment.

Another tip for staying sharp: if you see an attractive woman on the street, just say ‘hi’. Give her a compliment. If you’re too shy for that, make eye contact and SMILE. It’s a silent compliment and it works wonders. ‘Omg, this guy totally smiled at me (blushing)’

Does it matter if she smiles back? It’s a great feeling but who cares, that’s not the point.

Does it matter if she looks away? Hell no! I used to think I was doing something wrong when they look away. Then I remembered myself a few years ago. If a confident and attractive woman would look at me, I would look away due to intimidation. It’s all great!

For every time you smile and make eye contact, you’re boosting your own confidence. You’ll realize that after a day of doing this, you’ll miraculously feel motivated. It works like magic.

JimmyNic · 2012-07-30T20:32:45+00:00

I feel quite similar to this. I don't get anxious about approaching, I just don't approach. Although I'm thinking about it, I've no real intention of doing it in truth. Afterwards I beat myself up about it, but leading up to walking past her I don't feel scared.

I don't know enough about psychology to explain it, but I'd say both of us need to actually approach if we want to make any progress.

Regarding the bars thing, I'd say your best bet is day-game. Shopping centres, farmers markets, sporting events, parks. Anywhere there will be women.

eetsumkaus · 2012-07-30T13:28:03+00:00

This is interesting. Is it specifically places where it's just uncomfortable to hit on girls? (i.e. clubs with music so loud you can't hear someone 3 inches from your face?)

I don't so much as become disinterested as not bother with situations like that. Bars on the other hand, where you can generally talk easily, I'm fine in.

Also, some people are just more comfortable in some social situations, and I find the sun has a good impact on my mood making me more likely to be sociable.

However, it may also be that the places you're mentioning (BBQ's, house parties) are easier for you because everyone there is part of your social circle and you're just not comfortable enough talking to complete strangers.

I can't tell you which one it is, but the only way you're gonna help yourself is by being truthful to yourself, figuring out which one it is and working on it. Talking to strangers is scary at first, but once you get over that hump you'll wonder what you were worrying about all that time. Everyone in the world craves for social interaction, don't forget it.

trauts2k · 2012-07-30T06:00:10+00:00

You seem to remember a women.

Title	Feeling disinterested in certain social situations, is it a subconscious AA?
Author	eetsumkaus
Upvotes	3
Comments	14
Date	July 30, 2012 5:33 AM UTC (14 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xdmqz/feeling_disinterested_in_certain_social/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/feeling-disinterested-in-certain-social-situations.1336480 https://theredarchive.com/post/1336480

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