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Dealing with rejection like a pro

charliedouglas123 · 2012-09-17T19:52:50+00:00

So I've been out with a girl a couple of times and for various reasons it isn't going to work out. To be honest, I had known this for some time...

charliedouglas123

September 17, 2012

10 upvotes

/r/seduction

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Post Information

Title	Dealing with rejection like a pro
Author	charliedouglas123
Upvotes	10
Comments	14
Date	September 17, 2012 7:52 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/101ebs/dealing_with_rejection_like_a_pro/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/dealing-with-rejection-like-a-pro.1339503 https://theredarchive.com/post/1339503

Comments

[–]sunn_ 6 points7 points8 points 13 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

[–]thedtrain88 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]sunn_ 4 points5 points6 points 13 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link

ahaha sometimes i think im on another level, like meta-seduction. i do the exact opposite of what is espoused in the community and get laid doing it.

it's funny because there are two mentalities that seem to act the same, but in reality their actions and their emotions are completely different....

let's say a girlfriend cheats on you.

now there's one scenario where you brush it off your shoulder because you are insecure, weak, you cannot deal with the pain so you'd rather pretend it didn't happen and you might even forgive the girl and try and make things work between the two of you.

and in another scenario, you brush it off your shoulder because you know that you are a man of such high caliber and value that, even if, you made some slight mis-steps along the way, that her cheating on you is 100% on her, and it has nothing to do with you. in this case, you don't take it personally, you brush it off, you deal with the pain, and you acknowledge it and excise her from your intimate life. you also forgive her and treat her like gold. you treat her like a daughter. you check in, you make sure things are going well for her. break-ups are tough even on cheaters, keep that in mind. you help her move on, maybe even hook her up with a friend who likes her despite her cheating ways. this attitude is far more powerful. suddenly all the guilt and responsibility is entirely dumped on the girl as it should be. the result? tears. lots of them. apologies. offers to jump through flaming hoops and jump off cliffs to make things right. your strength in the face of what she thought would utterly break you creates infatuation. she knows maybe a handful of men in the world are this strong. she will want to fuck your brains out and she will cry and she will apologize. that is fine, you fuck her brains out and let he know that things are going to be cooling off really quick and you're sorry the relationship had to come to this kind of betrayal but that it can't go on. and then she's gone.

eventually a time will come when you guys grab dinner. you'll pay for that dinner. not so you can "get" something from her, but because you still care about her and you're helping her learn a very important lesson: this is what a man looks like, and you fucked up, but you have learned and you now know what to search for even though you might never find a man with this kind of strength...at least you know they exist.

it's the ultimate "i forgive you for what you did, we all fuck up", when you pay for a cheating girlfriend's dinner and treat her like your sister or daughter or best friend.

im on amazing, sexual, terms with all my exes. whenever they are single casual sex is a given when they come over. they are some of the best friends i could ask for.

and it's worth noting that they all seem to feel like i was the guy that got away from them, that they made a grave mistake in life. and guess what. they did. and i doubt they would feel like that if i had cried like a baby and assumed that it was all my fault that they left me and never talked to them again.

[–]DramseyRukes 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

even if, you made some slight mis-steps along the way, that her cheating on you is 100% on her, and it has nothing to do with you.

That seems very unlikely.

you don't take it personally, you brush it off, you deal with the pain, and you acknowledge it and excise her from your intimate life. you also forgive her and treat her like gold. you treat her like a daughter. you check in, you make sure things are going well for her. break-ups are tough even on cheaters, keep that in mind. you help her move on, maybe even hook her up with a friend who likes her despite her cheating ways. this attitude is far more powerful. suddenly all the guilt and responsibility is entirely dumped on the girl as it should be. the result? tears. lots of them. apologies. offers to jump through flaming hoops and jump off cliffs to make things right. your strength in the face of what she thought would utterly break you creates infatuation. she knows maybe a handful of men in the world are this strong. she will want to fuck your brains out and she will cry and she will apologize. that is fine, you fuck her brains out and let he know that things are going to be cooling off really quick and you're sorry the relationship had to come to this kind of betrayal but that it can't go on. and then she's gone.

If this were a novel or a movie that would all be great, but the relish with which you write it all makes it sound a lot like a long-game revenge fantasy of every beta male cheated on boyfriend in history rolled into one. Especially the parts about treating them like gold etc., it sounds as though her tears, eventual regret and subsequent potential sex are in your plans all along, and you gain enjoyment from them.

[–]sunn_ 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]DramseyRukes 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

No, I agree with you that cheating isn't justified and likely it does have a lot to do with that person. With that said though, from my experience it's very rare that women cheat on awesome guys who are self-confident, comfortable with where they are in the world, improving in key areas consistently and giving the women what they need.

I think it's too much of a pity mentality that "nice guys" who are usually just doing w/e the girl wants 24/7 and letting her rule their lives then want to feel like they had nothing to do with the girl going off and getting what they need from someone else.

If the same things happen to you over and over, such as being cheated on, then chances are you in some way attract that kind of behaviour. Even if people don't wanna hear that. Very few actions occur in isolation IMO, there are lots of small and subtle reasons for them.

[–][deleted] 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]sunn_ 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Alsver 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]UMadBreaux 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 13 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]charliedouglas123 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link