Been with her for 2 years in November. She's been an amazing girlfriend in the day to day sense. Adores my presence, rarely ever denies sex, buys things for me, knows my family and I quite well at this point. Is always willing to listen, be interested in what im interested in, respects me, you name it. She is completely willing to clean for me, cook for me, show me off, etc. Quite a few people in real life are actually jealous of our relationship.

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I've always struggled with a few things about her though, and just last night I made a connection to something she brought up that is really setting off my alarms, and contemplating breaking up.

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  1. Our first date was pretty great, a 3-in-1: coffeeshop boardgames, dave and busters, and a movie. At the end, I push for a second date. She says absolutely, but is going to be in California the following week. All's well.

Fast forward to X months later, she goes to have dinner with two of her longest girlfriends. Afterwards, texting me, she lightheartedly brought up that while in California, she had a one night stand with a guy at a bar, and then the next day attended an Airbnb party where she got mildly drunk and high, and tried lesbian sex for the first time. All in the same weekend during the trip. I didn't know how to respond, at that time I was still uninformed of Red Pill stuff. She ultimately said that she brought it up because I thought it would be hot that she slept with a chick (only after saying "is that all?" did she reveal the guy).

The way I proceeded was how most millennials proceed with it: we weren't exclusive, no one wants to be an insecure partner, ignore it. Hard to argue with that. She eventually revealed that she did it as an impulse because she had planned a trip to visit her ex in California months in advance, but they broke up and she still had a ticket. But when she arrived there, she was reminded of how he ghosted her and acted out sexually to cope.

This bothered me for a long time, and still does time to time, despite the fact that we had only had one date before all of this -- we had no idea if our relationship would've panned out. This was the biggest hurdle in our relationship. My biggest thing was, yeah we weren't exclusive, but how am I your "one" right now, if you were able to go on a sex-trip after meeting me, even for the first time? Shouldn't you have been open-and-shut about your love-life after our first date? That's a naive thing to say, I realize. But it's a valid point.

  1. On maybe our 3rd or 5th date, we got Korean barbecue. At this point, I wasn't even thinking about girlfriend material. I was looking to hook up as fast as possible. So, I employed some standard PUA strategies: talking about sex. After dinner, we walked together and somehow the conversation ended up on if she has ever participated in an orgy.

She said no, but the closest she ever came was a house party where she had gone with one of her two girlfriends mentioned earlier. She vaguely knew that some people were fucking. Certainly people who were making out were sprinkled around. She was there with all of her closest friends, drinking. She drank too much and they took care of her. She knew her girlfriend was probably hooking up that night. At this point, I got very concerned. I asked if she hooked up that night. She said no. I asked her how she knew she had not been raped if she had passed out the whole time? She said her friends were all there in the same room the whole time.

I didn't think much this until last night. She had gone to dinner with those same two friends. She told me they had discussed the relationship between the girl who had accompanied her to the party in (2). This girl brought up how she used to frequent sex parties after breaking up with guys, and that her current boyfriend could never know. My girlfriend brought this up to me, since I never see the guy and she likes to spill "dirt" on her friends to me. This took me aback, because, well, the girl's a complete whore. Her friend then brought up an old guy she could never fuck before her current boyfriend and how if they were to meet again, she wouldn't know if she could keep herself. Her friend then tried to justify this by making it analogous to my girlfriend's ex from California. At this point, I was disgusted.

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It was until a few hours later I made a connection. Was that party she attended with all of her friends one of her girlfriend's sex parties? If that was the case -- I don't know how I could continue our relationship. It would mean that she's been to at least one sex party (where she intended to have indiscriminate sex) and that she's been blacked out at at least one sex party.

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In conclusion, the only reason I'm posting this here is because /r/relationships would tell me this is no good reason to break up with her. They would give me every "correlation doesn't equal causation" in the book regarding what I've shared. And how this is all meaningless if she's a saint day to day. About how no one's perfect, being a whore is okay, etc. But if I'm going to eventually put a rock on it, I can't have no whore. I don't know how true the cliché "You can't turn a whore into a housewife" is, but it certainly seemed that my girlfriend, again day-to-day, had lots of good characteristics for a wife and children. And she isn't a classic whore with an extremely high N count. She doesn't even masturbate / watch porn, ever, because she needs a connection.

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So I'm posting her to get a more honest response. But I'm also aware that the bias runs the other way here. Everyone here is likely going to tell me I should've broken up with her as soon as she told me about her trip. I am looking for helpful, actionable advice here, not a bunch of gotchas I can do nothing but feel regret over. For example, I know AWALT, etc thank you. But it's too late -- that's not going to anything helpful for me right now.

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Her N-count was is 9, including me. Half ex's, a few "unintended" FWB's (she was too agreeable / inexperienced to demand exclusivity before sex, then shortly broke them off once finding they weren't willing to be exclusive). The people in California, and me.

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How do I go about talking to her about this / proceeding in general?

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