~ archived since 2018 ~

Trying to figure out what women want when they go out in bars and nightclubs

[deleted]

March 3, 2013

1 upvotes

/r/seduction

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

PDF TXT EPUB

Post Information

Title	Trying to figure out what women want when they go out in bars and nightclubs
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	1
Comments	39
Date	March 3, 2013 5:59 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/19kcdg/trying_to_figure_out_what_women_want_when_they_go/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/trying-to-figure-out-what-women-want-when-they-go.1348345 https://theredarchive.com/post/1348345

Comments

[–]kixkit 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Giglio 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (28 children) | Copy Link

[–]ben0wn4g3 3 points4 points5 points 13 years ago (26 children) | Copy Link

[–]Giglio -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (25 children) | Copy Link

[–]ben0wn4g3 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link

[–]Giglio 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (13 children) | Copy Link

[–]ben0wn4g3 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago* (12 children) | Copy Link

[–]jimmyayo 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Giglio 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]ben0wn4g3 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Giglio 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]ben0wn4g3 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]Giglio 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I am aware of human behavior and everything that you are trying to say. I love studying the science of sex and psychology. However, we women were asked a simple question and we gave our honest answers. Not all women go out to bars and the clubs all dressed up with make up on. Sometimes a bar is just another place for a group of friends to hang out. If you love psychology then you know that humans aren't always so simple. What will you say to a woman who makes a comment in here who is asexual. You wouldn't be able to tell her that she's going out only to attract a mate when she has no interest in that in the first place. I don't think that we are 100% ignorant to our preferences. A lot of them yes. I think you are going a bit overboard with this whole thing. You seem a bit closed minded to the possibility of humans not sticking to their animal instincts. It happens all the time. Take a look outside. Anyway, your argument is interesting but I don't think that this is the place for it. Also I will find this " you are not so smart" book. I would love to read it. :)

[–]ben0wn4g3 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–]ben0wn4g3 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Giglio -2 points-1 points0 points 13 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–]Giglio -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]Giglio -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]nittutt 3 points4 points5 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]eleanorekap 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link

[–]RandianHero 4 points5 points6 points 13 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[–]RandianHero 4 points5 points6 points 13 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 13 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

[–]RandianHero 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]RandianHero 2 points3 points4 points 13 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

The more experienced of us do have quite a few women friends, so the advice we give is reflective of that. But you have to understand that a good chunk of the stuff you read or hear in the PUA community is men in the process of figuring this shit out. People (especially Americans) naturally gravitate towards simple formulas and quick fix solutions; they want a step-by-step process to achieve a goal, which is to get laid and/or get a girlfriend. But there is no real magic pill to make that happen, and everyone's approach ends up being different.

Most of these guys are just lonely. They've had little to no relationship experience, and they're looking to people with more experience for advice. Most of them won't end up getting fucktons of women; they'll maybe internalize one or two good pieces of advice and have a marginal increase in success.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

I get the lonely factor, and I can understand how that would be hard. I heard about PUA through a male friend who frequently asked me to go to social settings with him to demonstrate high value(?) and make him look safe to other women. Obviously I'm rooting for him, so my first awareness of PUA wasn't really negative and I saw how he improved his life with it. Of course when he was done making use of my presence I had to bugger off and entertain myself while he was engaging with some chick, which could be tiresome. He has a pretty good gf now and I can see how PUA helped with that.

On the other hand, I've seen it turn into really pushy guys who seem to be running through scripts in their head without listening to my responses, which is quite dehumanizing. Please don't think you're complimenting me by calling me a "9.5." I'm not a number, I'm not a target. Why can't they just treat me like any other human being? How can you really sleep at night after going out and insulting the pretty girls just to take them down a notch? We have bad days at work and pets who die just like anyone else, do you really need to come up and harrass us on the off chance we might fuck you? This is where my empathy breaks down a bit and I start to feel combative about it. I mean, what did I do to you to deserve your negging?

TL;DR: The opposite of a pedastal isn't a dumpster.

[–]RandianHero 1 point2 points3 points 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

You're preaching to the choir, kid. I've never been a fan of the whole "Mystery Method" or other systems that break social interactions down into a system of equations and dehumanized terminology. And more often than not, the people who run with that stuff are the worst kinds of angsty twats to ever pick up a self-help book, so they're already bitter and nasty to begin with.

Playful teasing is one thing; it's good-natured and it's a natural part of flirting. "Negging" is just something I've never agreed with. I get the general idea: make the other person interested in you by showing that you're not seeking their approval, or play on their self-esteem issues and make them try to validate themselves in front of you. Because at that point, it makes the hot girl try to impress you rather than the other way around.

But there's the thing: I don't need her to try to impress me, and if I'm already an impressive guy, I'm not going out of my way to show her I am anyway. It doesn't need to be established that I'm not seeking her approval because that's already obvious. So negging at that point is not only pointless, but needlessly mean.

[–]rmbarnes -1 points0 points1 point 13 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]jimmyayo 0 points1 point2 points 13 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link