I haven't had a lot of success in this field. In fact, the only woman I was ever involved with was quite literally one of the most psychotic people I've ever met. Not much to draw on in the confidence department. The advice I see again and again for this is "fake it till you make it". That's all well and dandy, but they always know it's not real.

I am fully cognizant of the fact that any given interaction means little or nothing in the grand scheme of things, there's 3 billion other women on the planet, 17 more like her in California, etc etc. For all these completely true statements, however, I'm still deathly nervous inside. And try as I may to fight through it, I'm still throwing unconscious signals left and right that say "DON'T PICK ME!"

Which leaves me to posit the following: how does one reconcile having zero source for confidence in a field where confidence is itself a requisite for success when the usual advice is seen right through in any such interaction I have?