FWB becoming less available - am I overthinking? How to react?

spiritletshereit · 2018-10-17T12:13:34+00:00

Sounds like oneitis not FWB.

If it was just FWB you wouldn't be hamstering like this.

Why do you care about any of this stuff? If she was actual friend that you sometimes fuck none of this would matter.

Do you get worked up like this over your male friends?

RedHoodhandles · 2018-10-17T12:21:22+00:00

Shit what a mess. You are emotionally invested like in an LTR. You have no abundance and scarcity mentality. Fuck other women. Don't do trips with women who aren't exclusive on her side of the relationship.

wawakaka · 2018-10-17T12:28:27+00:00

Hey she rescheduled for Thursday

Don't over think it

christophertracy92 · 2018-10-17T13:37:12+00:00

So ,
"Never had "the talk", but she said she has "feelings" for me"
while,
"I always initiate meetups - she never asked me once if she could come over"

The medium is the message. Don't care about what she says, she what she does.
Once she created some distance, you immediately showed neediness;
Last week I told her to come over , This week I proposed Wednesday or the weekend .

Ask yourself who controls the frame. Because regardless on how you entered this FWB, at the moment it feels like she does.
The moment she begun to seem reluctant, you should have swapped your focus to other plates.

My gut tells me it's getting harder to have her come over and that she's "busy" more often .
Always listen to your gut. She is shit testing you and it works.

You shouldn't work on getting her attention back - Genuine desire cannot be negotiated .
You should work on this first ' but she's the only one I'm fucking regularly and I have feelings for her. '

That's the core problem. You are approaching from a position of scarcity.
You must have shown Beta traits and she is now prioritizing other orbiters. You lost the frame and therefore the prize mentality.

You should ghost her.

Get rid of the ONEitis feeling you have. Kill the Beta. Spin plates and she will come back because only then you will 'just get it'.

Bedtimeshine · 2018-10-17T11:58:10+00:00

What exactly is she getting out of this?

Atheist_Utopia · 2018-10-17T14:23:39+00:00

Am I being paranoid?

Freudian slip right here. Oneitis took over.

FixYourselfFirst · 2018-10-17T12:27:47+00:00

You need to decide if you want to make her your GF. Maybe you waited too late. After 8 months, the excitement of being a FWB is wearing off for her. She's obviously seeing someone else now.

HurricaneHugues · 2018-10-17T14:26:36+00:00

"We traveled together and have a vacation planned in December. Minimal texting (mostly logistics)."

That's your gf, not your FWB. You're too invested inns chick that doesn't deserve it in the first place. You have oneitis and you're deeply in her frame. Grow a spine, dude. You need to see other girls. She'll come around when she comes around. She doesn't owe you any explanations.

vandaalen · 2018-10-17T12:37:36+00:00

how many other women are you fucking?

DadOnDabs · 2018-10-17T14:03:01+00:00

You don't have an fwb you have a girlfriend. I made the same mistake with one of my Fwb's and I'm watching her branch swing now. She's probably doing the same.

BuckNekkid18 · 2018-10-18T13:25:45+00:00

We traveled together and have a vacation planned in December. Minimal texting (mostly logistics).

You have a girlfriend, and she's seeing someone else. Next her and start lifting and spinning plates.

Title	FWB becoming less available - am I overthinking? How to react?
Author	voidstarstarx
Upvotes	9
Comments	45
Date	October 17, 2018 11:48 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9oxx5p/fwb_becoming_less_available_am_i_overthinking_how/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/fwb-becoming-less-available-am-i-overthinking-how.134946 https://theredarchive.com/post/134946

Comments

"We traveled together and have a vacation planned in December. Minimal texting (mostly logistics)."