Just be yourself. (Yet, for some of us, that is almost impossible...)

I started off being in the place where some of you are now.. Wanting to be a certain way (In all honesty, I wanted to be someone else), desiring to have the confidence to approach people (not only girls but guys too), but I was too overly shy to do anything about it. I was screaming inside because I was terrified to be myself around people I didn't know or even people I knew for years. Sometimes I would have spurts of me actually being myself and feeling great but I tended to always retreat back into my self made cage and throwing the key just out of reach.

I had goals too.. I wanted to approach girls and even talk with them and get them to like me. If I could get them in bed then I have made it! Right? If I reached my goal, I must be the man I desired to be all along.... But that didn't end up being the case. I still didn't feel right... No matter how many girls I slept with or who I had as my girlfriend there was still this lack of... me.

I realized trying to find a girl to have sex with or become my girlfriend was just a means of me trying to seek out my self worth. Oh God did it hurt when a girl would deny me or leave me for someone else... My identity would shatter completely.

I had this puffed up image of myself because I was born with good looks... I actually think it was counterproductive. I would rest on my good looks thinking I didn't have to do anything and just stand there. I was so wrong... All I was doing was preventing myself from sharing my opinion or speaking up to invite someone into a friendly conversation. If you see a guy with good looks and you start to compare yourself with him THEN STOP. In all honesty, I would look up to less attractive guys and want to be like them just because they KNEW WHO THEY WERE.

That is what changed me; I found out who I was. (My answer for myself: I found my identity in God and that changed everything about how I saw myself but what I found through that can even help those who don't believe or choose not to.) I decided not to listen to the lies in my head that seemed to follow me everywhere I went. If you ever have a discouraging thought about yourself, think another thought. You have the choice and the ability to do it, so DO IT. There are reasons why you are awesome and people love you for it. If you think no one loves you, then I would suggest you think another thought. Its simply not true. Take time being comfortable and practicing being you.

When you start feeling great about who you are (not in a cocky way, if you are cocky you still have self esteem issues), it really doesn't matter what others think or say. If a girl says no to you, which they will, it shouldn't even phase you because you know YOU ARE STILL AWESOME.

What ended up happening to me once I started knowing my self worth outside of what others thought, the confidence just flowed in. Once the confidence flowed in, so did the girls... This month I was on 9 different dates. This time around, I wasn't trying to impress them, they were trying to impress me and I just kept being myself while having fun doing it. My goal wasn't to sleep with any of them but just to get to know them so this took them to a place where they weren't used to... I was different but sure of myself (again... Not in a cocky way.) It was fun as they all tried their best to make the right impression on me. Though all the girls were very attractive, I chose not to continue more dates with any of them because I'm looking for something else.

Hope this helps. Have fun!