What can you possibly learn about yourself about going out and getting rejected by 10 women?

Ambassador_throwaway · 2013-07-08T04:02:56+00:00

You learn what you're doing wrong
You learn how you can fix yourself
You have too much of a negative outlook on yourself. Be happy with yourself, otherwise you're doing this for all the wrong reasons and won't be succeeding if you don't deal with your personal problems.
Approaching and approaching alleviates approach anxiety.
Rejection ISN'T a bad thing. Each rejection is a stepping step to finally reaching that stable success.
Rejection ISN'T a bad thing. Gets you screening faster.
Failure is doing the same thing all the time and somehow still expecting success. Learn and adapt. Inertia will get you nowhere.

Stick a recorder on yourself and review what you say and how you say it. Then work on improving it. Have a friend record you and review your body language and your posture. Then work on improving it.

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” - Albert Einstein

frogma · 2013-07-08T04:38:31+00:00

I can approach, open, have a great interaction with a girl, take her back to my place, make out with her for a bit, get a blowjob, then walk her back home in the morning.

If I didn't get any sex, is that still a "failure"? Well nah -- for one, I got a blowjob, so that's decent. But I also had an experience where I got to see what I did right, what I did wrong, etc.

If you read material by other guys, most will tell you that they appreciate the "failures" more than the "successes," because they learn more from them.

But shit man, hardly anyone's famous, so that's irrelevant. I currently have 0 dollars and no job, so that doesn't seem to be much of a factor. I don't have a car or license, so that probably isn't too relevant either. I'm semi-popular I guess, but when I go to a new bar full of strangers, that isn't relevant either.

Building attraction/comfort isn't really dependent on your financial situation, or even your social standing. That's a limiting belief, and I think you're already aware of why it's an issue (you're getting rejected a lot, even though if you own a car, you're already doing "better" than I am).

Stop thinking about it in terms of failure vs. success. That's the quickest way down the rabbit hole of self-consciousness and negativity. I'd just go ahead and consider every approach a "success," and consider every experience a learning experience. Think about why you might've been rejected, and try to improve that aspect next time. If it's something you can't fix (like your looks), then ignore it and focus on the shit you can change.

Edgar_Allan_Rich · 2013-07-08T04:39:24+00:00

P.S Not approaching and approaching but getting rejected both lead to the same result - hence they're both failure

False.

This explains perfectly why you don't get it...you couldn't possibly after such a statement.

Everyone who has cold approached a beautiful woman(or man) knows the feeling...the one like jumping off a tall cliff into the water. The logical part of your brain is urging you not to do it, but the thrill part of your brain knows that it'll be worth it. In order to take the plunge, you have to actively shut off the logical part of your brain for just a split second so the other part of your brain can be allowed to take over and take the step forward. If you are incapable of shutting down the fear zone then you never get the reward, and when it comes to cold approaching someone (especially a sober day-game approach)...it's a crazy rush if you aren't used to it. It's like a drug or an athletic high. It's a whole body thing, and after you're off the cliff all sorts of things can happen. But again, the rewards are huge.

I'll never forget my first cold day-game approach on an HB10...she was just so perfect and desirable that both sides of my brain were fighting ( kind of like that scene from Seinfeld). First it was impossible to talk myself into it, but I just basically thought of the cliff and said "fuck it" and walked straight over. An immediate surge of adrenaline and excitement made me light headed and my body weak. I literally studdered out some stupid opener and I've never studdered in my entire life. She was sweet about it but man I bombed soooooo hard. And when I walked away...oh man...when I walked away. Never in my entire life had feelings of failure been so distant. The definition of failure fell out of dictionary as far as I was concerned. It was as if the word failure had never even existed. That's how high on satisfaction I was as I literally struggled to catch my breath and take on the rest of the day. It was an experience like no other. It's been all uphill from there.

Like anything, shutting down that fear zone takes practice. And eventually it's not the high of "I did it" anymore...it's the high of her saying "yes" that gets you off; and eventually it will be the close.

Try it and you'll know.

puaCurveBall · 2013-07-08T05:57:11+00:00

That you're not famous enough? That you don't have enough money? That you don't have a nice-enough car? That you're not popular?

None of those things are necessary to start a sexual relationship with a stranger. This is proven many times over.

You gain willpower, you gain the ability to approach, and you gain feedback on why your approaches aren't working.

If you don't want to improve yourself and want to stay where you are at, then this is the wrong sub for you.

archnihilist · 2013-07-09T02:41:09+00:00

You learn that

it doesn't matter if you get rejected.

Title	What can you possibly learn about yourself about going out and getting rejected by 10 women?
Author	doublea9211
Upvotes	0
Comments	5
Date	July 8, 2013 3:27 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1huaxs/what_can_you_possibly_learn_about_yourself_about/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/what-can-you-possibly-learn-about-yourself-about.1355126 https://theredarchive.com/post/1355126

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