How can i be less awkward?

Tamriel · 2013-08-05T05:51:21+00:00

I won't pretend I am a MPUA or even a PUA, I am an AFC trying to overcome approach anxiety, but I would recommend finding a common ground, people LOVE to talk, specially women, find a common ground for their interest and let them talk, take interest in what they are saying. You can also pick a topic and ask for their opinion, it can be anything.

If you find it awkward or you get too nervous, try opening up group of guys first to practice.

My two cents, as said before, don't take it by heart, as I am just someone who has AA just like yourself :)

Paradox815 · 2013-08-05T06:07:48+00:00

Read the sidebar post on Approach Anxiety, it'll give you some good food for thought.

YetzirahToAhssiah · 2013-08-05T06:08:08+00:00

Keep practicing. OPEN EVERYONE!

Like, start up a conversation with cashiers and bank tellers. Try being fun/funny. As you begin to open people in general, opening girls will get easier.

ackshunpact · 2013-08-05T13:36:32+00:00

You need to improve your inner game. You're lacking confidence which basically means you don't value yourself enough as a person. Read the sidebar for starters. Basically straighten out your priorities: spend more time doing things that make you feel badass (pumping iron, hiking, drag racing, painting self-portraits, whatever) and less time doing things that really are only purely entertaining (reddit, tv, video games other than pokemon, etc).

Oh and don't ever even so much as think the phrase "i'm socially awkward" again. Confidence is all about self-perception. If you think hard enough about being a duck, eventually you will grow feathers.

DreadMe · 2013-08-05T08:22:35+00:00

learn to like yourself and be happy with who you are and it will come naturally

1vibe · 2013-08-05T08:49:30+00:00

May I suggest approaching when you don't feel like it. Weirdly enough, it works for me. Not every time, but when it clicks you suddenly get into state.

Lewan72 · 2013-08-05T14:16:28+00:00

You are probably just

Overthinking things and thinking too much. When you are talking to your best friends you don't really think about what to say, everything just flows together. If you've ever talked to a girl and froze up (I've done this many times) not say anything because you can't think of anything to say (oh god painful memories are coming back) and have lots of internal dialogue during a conversation with a girl, that means you are OVERTHINKING.

and

Probably view the girl as "higher" than yourself.

Think about when you talk to your best friends, family, or a close teacher or violin teacher. Its easy right? Everything flows well, nothing is awkward, you can actually crack jokes! So why is talking to a girl awkward and difficult?

This isn't because talking to a girl is "more complex" than your friends or family, people are people. Its because you are more comfortable with your friends. So the only problem is IN YOUR MIND and your MINDSET. In my experience the more you talk to girls the more you DEFEAT this pre-set mindset of girls as higher, complex, mystical creatures and more like regular people (which they are!). The faster you defeat this mindset the less awkward you will be.

Danger_Tits · 2013-08-05T22:09:58+00:00

While we're on the subject, I don't have any trouble with confidence, and I don't think I'm awkward, but I'm known to be awkward. That guy from the LAHWF channel on youtube reminds me of myself a lot, just not as exaggerated.

I don't really know how to change it. It's just who I am but I don't really like it.

2013-08-06T16:24:43+00:00

A lot of social awkwardness comes from caring too much about the conversation. Rather than simply expressing yourself or listening, you're probably worrying about trying to find the "right" thing to say or whatever. Or, rather than simply enjoying the conversation, you're caring too much about "oh does this person like me?" (i.e. being needy). Worrying about finding the right thing to say is actually going to prevent you from finding the right thing to say.

Relax and be in the moment. It'll take some practice, but everything takes practice. For now, try not to have a goal in mind other than "have good, fun conversation". If, in the back of your mind, you're thinking "oh god how can I get her to like me I just want her number blah blah blah", there's going to be a general, unsettling feeling.

It reaaaaally doesn't matter what topics you guys talk about, as long as you have fun talking about it. I've talked to girls about pick-up, Fallout: New Vegas, and even basic algorithm theory. I mean, I learned how to pick my battles so to speak, but the point is, it's not about the actual topic. Things like FORD (family, occupation, recreation, dreams) might be good as training wheels, but ultimately how you say things matters more, not what you say.

Title	How can i be less awkward?
Author	laboofayshamay
Upvotes	7
Comments	10
Date	August 5, 2013 5:38 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1jq36x/how_can_i_be_less_awkward/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-can-i-be-less-awkward.1356418 https://theredarchive.com/post/1356418

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