Asian American guy seeking mostly Asian females who are down for casual relationships. Not often discussed topic. Tips from those who have dated Asians?

holyfear · 2013-08-16T20:22:25+00:00

As a fellow Korean-American, living in the DC metropolitan area, I agree with what you wrote. The problem comes from our parents, because they usually urge us to get married once we get a job, usually with a fellow Asian partner. We usually look towards other races for casual relationships, because of the sort of taboo it has, which gives it a lack of seriousness. Other Asians share similar backgrounds, so it would create a harmonious relationship easier than with people of other races. In conclusion, the chances are rare in my mind.

I honestly don't take part in seduction, but bars and clubs would be the best bet. They have that sexual energy, which would be easier to spot the type of girls you're looking for. State your intentions early to identify the best matches. Trial and error.

VancityHalfer · 2013-08-16T20:30:30+00:00

The large majority of women I've dated/slept with have been Asian (I'm an early-20's half-Asian with some heavy yellow fever just to give some context). I've found that if you meet them through mutual friends, as they invariably seem to have a circle of close-knit Asian friends, they will be less likely to go for casual flings. This is no doubt due to not wanting to appear too easy in front of their friends. I've found the most success at a dominantly Asian club in my city, one of the most popular places in town. There seems to be much less of a stigma towards meeting a "cute guy" at a club, hooking up, and then progressing into some form of casual relationship. No idea whether this will ring true for you as well but this club has become my go-to place and is as close to a sure thing as I've ever come.

TofuTofu · 2013-08-16T21:59:05+00:00

When I read about TofuTofu's exploits, it feels like as good as he is, the cards are stacked in his favor. These girls are open to be seduced for casual flings.

There is something to be said for this. I lived in Upper West Side Manhattan and slept with plenty of Jewish girls because they had it in their mind that they were going to date/marry a Jewish man, so they felt more freed to be casual with Gentiles like me.

Honestly, it just comes down to one thing:

Understanding what YOU want and screening effectively.

That means conveying that you're not looking for anything too serious (but wait until after you've built up some attraction before that) and letting her make a decision on if she wants to hook up with you or not. You WILL scare away plenty of girls but they're doing you a favor if you're only looking for something casual.

It takes quite a bit of work to get comfortable and congruent with communication this, but that's the secret. And it's got nothing to do with Asians.

Hoboshanker · 2013-08-16T22:28:33+00:00

I'm a Chinese-American, living in NYC. I understand what you're going through, which is why I don't go full Asian, you go for the mixed/ half Asian hybrids, so you get the combination of Asian cultural acceptance and liberal sensibilities of the western world (aka more dtf). I like filipinas personally, since they're technically Asian and a lot more friendlier and extroverted than the typical conservative Far East Asian Girls (Chinese, Japanese, Korean). So my advice, go for mixed Asian girls, you get the best of both worlds!

heteronormative · 2013-08-17T06:39:53+00:00

asian in sf here. I agree with you, but I feel that you also have to consider how 'white washed' the girls are as another dimension. There are a lot of asian girls that party hard but usually with an asian crew. They would be down for flings, so just go to the most asian club in your town.

I would also say that you could also find the girls who have a ton of non-asian friends and just hookup with them since they would most likely be more down.

stuckinbathroom · 2013-08-16T22:16:59+00:00

Best of luck, dude. Not to steal your thunder, but I absolutely agree on the two types of Asian girls and their respective motivations. I myself am a brown guy looking for more of your first type of (East) Asian girl (the [relatively] innocent one who wants a stable LTR), but as you rightly pointed out, they mostly stick to their own. Honestly, being a brown guy with yellow fever is basically a vow of celibacy.

Back to you, though: I feel like there is a large contingent of Asian girls looking for casual relationships with Asian guys in the LA area. My gut feeling is that it's become more prevalent over the years as Asian males have (slowly, painstakingly) broken into the ranks of "sexy" in the mainstream media and public consciousness.

bettereveryear · 2013-12-04T01:53:29+00:00

I'm asian American and I can get both (not to be cocky) I just have been. Granted I'm tall and I'm kind of good looking- but I don't think that matters in the long run.

Anyway- Asian girls LOVE a guy with game. You know how like white guys have an edge on white girls? I think that asian guys have an edge on asian girls.
The only reason asian girls seem to like white guys more is because a majority of Asian guys aren't tough enough to keep eye contact. They want something stable, but even more so than that- they don't want someone weak.

A thing I do is I take the girl to the bar, and I lock eyes with her. I smile. She looks at me funny- I lean in for a kiss- really slow. I'm not actually going in for the kiss- It's just a joke, but she knows my intention now. She knows that I want to make out. She bops me on the head like "get your head out of the gutter". I grab her hand- I take her over to the dance floor. We dance and grind, and I'll lean in for a kiss- except for real this time.

White girls are easy too. Basically any girl that looks at me, I just approach. If they check me out, even a little bit- They at least I'm some bit of attractive, even if they aren't into asian guys. There's just something about me they like.
Anyway- I'll hold out my hand and motion for them to come over- Bruce Lee style. They walk over and I say "Hi baby, where've you been?" or something like that. Shoot the shit. Pick her up (physically) and bring her to the dance floor.

I don't really see what the problem is. I agree that asian guys have it hard, but man- Kong from simple hookup really has shown me something else is possible.

tdlr; As an Asian guy, I don't see what the big deal is with picking up Asian girls.

kingcal · 2013-08-18T04:21:02+00:00

I live in Seoul. I've had pretty decent success meeting Korean girls that are into casual relationships, but I'm white, so there's that. I treat them pretty much like I would any girl. Some people say that Asian girls are more conservative, but what it really is is that they're much more concerned with their image. They may not want to show a lot of affection to you at first because they don't want to be labeled a slut, but isolate them and they'll be downright dirty.

Just last night I K-closed a girl on the dance floor. Initially, she would pull back if my face got too close to hers, because her friend was able to see her. I just turned her so that I was standing between her and her friend and she went along with it.

You may not want to do the "bar thing", but for casual it's great. The second best option would probably be OKC or another online dating website.

2013-08-18T13:12:56+00:00

Trashy/slutty/outgoing Asians girls that go to all-Asian clubs, and Filipinas/Viets.

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