How to evoke a physical/sexual response in a woman

DirtyProjector · 2013-11-26T17:40:38+00:00

Something a bit contradictory in your post. Kissing is a physical response. If you get that far, the woman is already sexually involved. It's just a matter of escalating. You're not doing yourself any favours by considering kissing/making out and sex as completely separate things - they are at different points on the same continuum.

nestleyquik · 2013-11-26T21:10:32+00:00

Observations using only your description:

First date, she was definitely interested in escalating things sexually.
Second date, she was definitely feeling the emotional connection, but not the physical one. Most likely because you didn't escalate properly. Not enough kino, sexual tension, suggestive humor, etc.
Learning to escalate in ANY situation, not just the right one, is key to proper escalation. Yeah, it's risky. But she went out on a date with you, that should be enough indication that she was waiting for you to make a move. Way better to have your physical/sexual advances not land than to not throw any at all.

Personally, I think you bombed the second date. You came off as a friend more than a potential mate. The difference between the two is the physical escalation that never happened because you were waiting for the right moment instead of making one.

moojo · 2013-11-26T19:25:13+00:00

"I'm going away on Wednesday, but when I get back we should play"

Or we can play now.

joshsway · 2013-11-26T17:54:24+00:00

You just didn't escalate enough. You had plenty of opportunities to go to her place or get her to yours and you didn't go for it. Always go for it.

pewtercitychampion · 2013-11-26T19:27:52+00:00

I'm a pretty good feeler of where people are at in those moments when it comes to physical connection, and so I think that makes me hesitant to be forceful in making physical moves. Like the idea of being really alpha, and just kissing a girl when I want to, makes me uncomfortable because I feel like they'd be shocked/turned off.

You know the answer to your own question mate. It's exactly what you don't want it to be.

You have to be more physical. You must lead the physical escalation. You must go for the kiss when You want to. You must take charge. You must show your desire first before she will respond.

You have to be vulnerable. Lean into the discomfort.

Tempts · 2013-11-26T22:54:42+00:00

New redditor here so excuse my intrusion into your thread.

I am 42f and I wanted to say that all the women I know have a default "maybe he's just not that into me" setting. Where we wonder if men find us attractive, fun to be with, etc. especially are we worth a dating relationship?

The poster who said you had to be vulnerable and lean into the discomfort was correct. (Sorry idk how to quote from within this app). Most women buy into our socialization that if we are sexually aggressive we may be slut-shamed. So likely she will wait for you to take the lead. I didn't read anything in your post which made me think "whoa she was giving back off signals" so she was likely waiting for you to go for it. Though it's possible I might be wrong.

In my experience I have only been sexually aggressive when I knew I had a person who was interested. I can't think of a woman I know who was the aggressor in a new relationship either. I think that's just not the norm in Western culture. If I had been that woman on the second date I'd be thinking you had seemed interested during the first date but less so on the second. Perhaps I'm boring? Or unattractive? I would have some level of self doubt going on. And based on her invitation to play when she returns that's very forward. She could have said anything to fill the space but she said "play". To my mind that's a clear invitation to make a move and letting you know she would be receptive.

I cannot imagine how high your threshold for vulnerabilty has to be to be a man in our culture. But I admire you all for doing it. I guess the "how" of doing it depends a lot on circumstances but I don't think you need to worry that this woman thinks you only want sex. At last that's not the impression I got from your post.

2013-11-27T11:54:10+00:00

You have to be really aggressive. Girls expect that you escalate physically. If you don't, they assume that you're not into her.

The point of kino is to make sure that the girl knows that you're into her.

unclesteve_12 · 2013-11-27T18:35:01+00:00

I'm think she is pushing and pulling. I think she wants you to just grab her and make a move like a strong man. Do it! She said she thinks you guys should play? .. I can think of a four letter word she probably was thinking of.

Title	How to evoke a physical/sexual response in a woman
Author	DirtyProjector
Upvotes	15
Comments	15
Date	November 26, 2013 5:33 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1ri9te/how_to_evoke_a_physicalsexual_response_in_a_woman/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-evoke-a-physicalsexual-response-in-a-woman.1362124 https://theredarchive.com/post/1362124

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