I have been in the community for awhile giving advice to friends and acquaintances for the longest time, and this question is often asked after people started learning game.

The short version is that you know you have met the right girl for you because you act like a AFC around her, but she doesn't mind. No matter what you do to try to use game you find that yourself breaking your own rules, but she does not care. Eventually you learn that you can be yourself and she will not judge you for it. You will still be improving yourself in general (taking up hobbies and becoming a better rounded person all together), but she will respect you for that. You will be able to respect her for improving her self and find her more attractive because of it.

When all of these things happen you are really not an AFC for opening the door, buying her flowers, and texting her first. You have simply won the game. You have found someone who you are not trying to change and game. You both want to keep learning and improving yourselves. Again Congrats you won!!!

Get ready this is where it gets a little confusing. Winning the game and having oneitis are very similar; however the difference is HUGE. The feelings mentioned above must be mutual, but how do you know they are mutual. This is where your inner game comes into play.

NOTE: I consider oneitis to be the idea that you are the only chasing in a relationship. We often label someone of having oneitis after a bad break up. But the neediness of that relationship is present long before a break up is needed and often times may be the factor that ends the relationship. Let me know if you disagree.

Your inner game should never go away (and as you know inner game should be something you are always improving because it applies way more than just with the opposite sex), you should always appear confident, assertive, and secure. You should feel independent as she should, but have a sense of coexistence. How do you measure these types of things? How can you tell if there is this? Don't worry I don't believe in circular reasoning, I won't just say you will know!

Some may consider them shit test to check your dependence, others may just call them trials. I like to think of them as natural trials. These test should be non set up and just happen naturally. Can you call her if you need a ride somewhere? Does she call you to help her move out? Is she your friend as you are hers? Make a list to see of the things that you asked for and she did and the things she asked for and you did.

NOTE: this is a good thing to check on to measure friendship and codependence. However not good to measure a relationship. Just these two factors will put you in the LJBF, attraction needs to happen first! These test should occur once attraction has been established and some form of physical commitment has been formed. Not some girl you had a ONS with.

So you made the list of what I call natural trials you check that list. What does this look like? It could look three different ways.

The first way would have shown that you have done way more for her than her to you. You may just be a friend that she can count on. You may not have asked her for a favor (I would start asking if you don't making them less natural but see what happens. You are drunk ask for a ride home, you want cooking advice. Struggling with something, want advice on a subject whatever. Ask...

What if she is always doing stuff for you? Sweet right!? Not really if you are looking to winning the game. You feel through the game you have control over her, and she feels that she has to bend over backwards for you. That is not how to win the game but may be different depending on your goal. If your goal is get laid then yes. If your goal is to be in a healthy relationship then no. I made this mistake before and ended the relationship because it was the right thing to do.

The best case (in my opinion even if you just are trying to hook up even.) is to see equality in this list. Both people text each other hi. Sex is initiated by both parties. Favors are done helping each other. Over all most things are not one sided and if they are it's not by to much.

Over all you are not an actual AFC but rather a mature man in a healthy relationship. You are not nervous to make mistakes, nor are you trying to game her.

I feel most of us are here to eventually find the right girl. It may not be the right away, but sometimes we get lost in the game that we forget what it looks like to win. We still can have fun in the mean time but wanted to share thoughts on knowing what a successful relationship looks like.

In the mean time have fun! Keep gaming! Enjoy Life!

JB