[Disclaimer: Some of the thoughts in this post may be interpreted by certain people as misogynistic. I did not intend it that way. I don't really believe this stuff, nor I am sure its true. It's just a thought experiment to get people thinking and hopefully to receive some feedback.]

A lot of us beat ourselves up trying to figure out what is going on in women's heads. Well, here is my theory: women think like me on a lazy Sunday. Here's why:

I work my fucking ass off during the week so I am always looking forward to my days off on Saturday and Sunday. I always have grand plans for my days off: I am going to go to the gym, I am going to a nice Chinese restaurant, I am going to run errands, I am going to start guitar lessons, etc... But when Saturday and Sunday actually arrive I always end up wasting those days like a lazy piece of shit. I sleep till noon, I waste a couple hours on reddit, I take some bong hits, watch some TV, go back to bed, etc... By the end of the day, I realized I haven't done anything that I had planned on doing and I end up hating myself and feeling awfull. Remember how I wanted to go to a nice Chinese restaurant? Well, spent half an hour trying to decide to go to the really good Chinese restaurant 30 minutes away or the kind of good one 5 minutes away. Remember how I said I wanted to go to the gym? Well was on my way out the door and noticed my apartment was a bit messy - and I stopped to clean a little bit, then decided I should be high to clean, and the next thing you know I'm masturbating and taking a nap. My emotion on Saturday and Sunday can be summed up in one word: BLAH. BLAH is aimless, directionless, spiritually empty, sad, boring, stupid, and unsatisfying. And there is always an element of fear in BLAH - what if I suck at guitar? What if the restaurant isn't worth it? What if I feel like shit after the gym? It's safer and feels better to just lie in bed. BLAH is like masturbation, it feels good when you're doing it but you later realize you fucked yourself and you always regret living your life in BLAH. Of course I regret wasting my weekend - I wish I had gone to those guitar lessons, the gym, etc...

I tried to find out why I was so disciplined and productive during the workweek but such a lazy piece of shit on the weekends. I think I figured it out: The main reason I waste my weekend, however, is that there is nothing that I am PASSIONATE about to do on the weekend. During the week I forced to be productive because I am scared I will lose my job. Meanwhile, on the weekend I have nobody forcing me to do anything so I get lazy. I also have so many options of things to do that I get paralysis analysis and do nothing because none of those things sound as good as just getting high and watching TV. I have no higher passions so I indulge my lower emotions, like food, masturbation, sleep, and reddit. But if I had something I was PASSIONATE about I would get off my ass and do it. I could focus on one important thing rather than having to choose between the 30 minor things I promised myself I would do during the week.

My friend bought a jetski and called me one day and said "Dude, we're going jetskiing Saturday at 8AM. Come out!" I've always wanted to go jetskiing, but I told him "I don't know man, I usually sleep till noon on Saturdays, it's my day off." My friend went ballistic, telling me how jetskiing was awesome and accusing me of being lazy. Because he really liked jetskiing I decided to try it out. I figured it would either be awesome, or I could make fun of him for liking something lame. But I was dreading getting out of bed and going there: I had never jetskied before, I didn't know who would be there, I would have to drive 30 minutes to the beach at the asscrack of dawn, I would have to hang out in the scorching sun when I could be napping and playing on reddit, etc... I wasn't looking forward to it. But when I got there I had the most awesome fucking time ever! The beach was awesome, jetskiing was fun, I had a great time hanging out with my friends, and I got a workout. I felt like an idiot for even thinking about staying home. To top it off, it was easy: my friend brought the jetskis, he taught me how to do everything, and I knew that they would go with or without me so there was no pressure. It's embarrassing, but I literally got "alphaed" into jetskiing by my friend. I started going every weekend, until I realized I needed to motivate myself and find my own passion.

What's the point of this story? It's this: I think women have that BLAH feeling I have on weekend all the time! And they are looking for a man with motivation and passion to take them out of that feeling. Women are inherently a sea of conflicting emotions tossing them through and fro, but none of those emotions are strong enough for women to act on and be passionate about. So that's why women end up feeling BLAH all the time and satisfy themselves with frivolous things, like jewelry and clothes, when they would rather be doing cool shit. Women like the same shit men like - they just don't have the same killer instinct to pursue them like men do.

<MISOGYNY ALERT> Now you may be asking: why are men able to passionate but not women? Well, I think that men and women are the exact same in most ways, but the difference is that men are born with a sense of competition that women don't have. This has been proven in studies - men are biologically driven to compete and try to dominate other men. Men's sense of competition is what drives them to be passionate about various things (sports, art, etc...) because subconsciously they are trying to compete with other men and dominate them. Women do not have this same competitive drive so they are less likely to lose themselves in an otherwise meaningless discipline (i.e., basketball, work). Women work hardest when they are taking orders or trying to fit in. Women are rarely leaders - they are more often followers. If you look at the history of art, literature, music, science, you see that women are rarely innovators or trailblazers - they do best working in a preexisting framework with authority from above. I also think this is where the idea that women are "submissive" comes from.
</MISOGYNY ALERT>

What does this mean for PUA? It means that women are constantly suffering from this BLAH emotion and need a man to pull them out of it - a man who preferably is passionate about various things and seeks to dominate and conquer the world and everybody in it. Women hate being stuck in BLAH and realize that the things they like (decorating, clothes, shopping) are frivolous and generally only shit you do when you feel BLAH. Women also need a man to take control and have some direction, because their own lives ("oh my god that's a cute outfit!") are directionless and unsatisfying. A woman is like a fat old man who loves the Chicago Bulls - he knows he can never be Michael Jordan or even play basketball but he likes to live vicariously through Michael Jordan and feel his passion and power. That's why women love musicians - musicians are totally and completely passionate about something that IS NOT WOMEN. Women love music, but many of them are too lazy, fearful, or anxious to make good music - hence they must live through musicians.

Most importantly, the woman needs the man to be passionate about something OTHER THAN HER. If the man directs all his thoughts and emotions towards her, then his passion is HER, and therefore his passion is BLAH, and women HATE BLAH. The whole point of finding a man is to avoid BLAH, but when the man supplicates and acts needy, the woman is back at BLAH. And BLAH feels awful. When a woman asks "where are we going to have dinner" and the man answers "I don't know, I don't really care, where do you want to go" the women feels that creepy, icky emotion of BLAH coming back and immediately starts to lose interest. Now she is no longer on the beach jetskiing, but in her bed trying to decide if its worth going to the bathroom or trying to back to bed. She knows what BLAH is, she lives in BLAH, and she doesn't want any BLAH from you. Of course, this is irrational - a truly passionate alpha male wouldn't care about where he eats dinner because he has sights on bigger and better things. But women are constantly trapped in a prison of BLAH and they want any excuse whatsoever to get out of it. A man has to prove to a woman that he will fight BLAH at every corner and consistently provide something fun, exciting, spiritually uplifting and meaningful to do.

So where do shit-tests come in? Well, to start, I lied about women hating BLAH. Women don't hate BLAH - there is something oddly comforting and soothing about BLAH. Getting high and watching TV isn't your best option, but like I said, it still feels better than a lot of other shit. So women are always looking for something better than BLAH, but they want to make sure that its worth getting out of bed to go jetskiing. That's why they shit-test: a shit test is essentially a situation where a woman presents you with BLAH and sees if you take it. If you take it, then she knows you are full of shit and it wasn't worth getting out of bed for you because she could have had BLAH at home. Imagine if I took my laptop to the beach and said to my friend "Hey guys, I found this really cool website called reddit, you guys want to look at AdviceAnimals for a while?" If my friend agreed to play on reddit instead of jetskiing, then I would know that BLAH was better than jetskiing and therefore I wasted my time getting out of bed and driving all the way to come jetskiing. But if my friend played the alpha and said "fuck no, dude, we're not playing on reddit, we're jetskiing" then I know that reddit is a pathetic, stupid thing compared to the awesomeness of jetskiing and I would be happy with my decision to drive all the way to jetski. And that's what women want to hear - they want to hear that their little shit tests are pathetic and stupid compared to the awesomeness of what you are selling.

How does this explain flaking? Easy - you didn't offer her anything better than BLAH. You were somewhat exciting, I guess, to get her number, but not exciting enough to make her get out of bed. Yes, it's extremely rude and disrespectful to flake on somebody but to her you are just another thing in her universe of BLAH that hasn't stood out. She's trying to decide between going back to sleep and watching TV (you are TV) and she chose going back to bed.

From my blog: http://playersjourney.net/women-and-blah/ Follow me on twitter: @playersjourney