How do I approach checking if she's clean?

HULKx · 2014-04-01T20:41:29+00:00

just wear a rubber or two...

Snoopybrown · 2014-04-02T15:02:16+00:00

You: You're clean, right? Her: Sure, baby! Dr. Soandso: Welcome to the world of herpes. You: Wow, she lied!

lithiumcow · 2014-04-02T06:41:11+00:00

Mark Manson wrote a topic on this, you can find it here: http://markmanson.net/std-guide

I'd say, however, just be honest and say it. In situations like this I couldn't care less if she says no. No glovin', no lovin'.

2014-04-01T22:33:40+00:00

This question would be better asked in /r/sex.

Personally I've always been blunt about it. If I decide I want to go down on a girl I'm not familiar with I always ask her straight up, with direct eye contact "Are you clean?". Obviously most women are but if she hesitates or gives you a timid answer I'd ask the question again to see if she's hiding it for whatever reason. Condoms should always be used with a new girl.

memyselfandadhd · 2014-04-01T23:27:45+00:00

Wear a jonny, unless you want to ask every girl you fuck if she has an STI before fucking her... which isn't going to work too well in your favour.

cbakkum · 2014-04-02T10:39:36+00:00

I usually just mention that I just got tested and am good to go. They usually reciprocate, but I always gauge their reply. One lay isn't worth herpes for the rest of your days.

tael89 · 2014-04-01T21:54:50+00:00

Be honest and forward about it. If she is worth your time, she will understand and possibly be more interested that you actually care about your health, and her's (by being safe with previous/alternate partners).

Basically, if you are an adult, you probably have an understanding that safety is important before fooling around. I have papers to show my cleanliness and any of my partners respect and encourage this in like.

BlueIsStylinOnYou · 2014-04-02T01:26:52+00:00

I'm afraid of being too blunt about it but I've had real scares in the past and so I know what that terror can feel like.

Just tell her that.

"Yo you're clean right? I mean, I think you are, but I've had real scares in the past and I know what that terror can feel like."

recyclablebantha · 2014-04-03T04:30:26+00:00

....how do I ask her if she's clean? .....How do you all approach it?

Obviously condom use should be a given especially for first time exposures.

But as far as broaching the subject, there IS a way to bring it up that is less likely to put her on the defensive. Some possibly helpful rules of thumb:

This is a subject you should be getting at LONG before the physical escalation starts. Escalation is often most fun when it's instinctual, passionate, etc. Read: you are basically pulling the Emergency Stop on the train of sex when you ask such a question AS things are heating up.
This is something you might think of as part of the "establishing logistics" phase. But the LATTER part of it, not early. You should be clearly aware of having established a connection before you bring up something as presumptuous as this subject.
As for how to bring it up, you can simply look for any opening to volunteer the fact that YOU are clean & current on your STI/STD testing. Then PAY ATTENTION to her reaction. She may volunteer her own status. (Most likely the fact you brought it up will elicit the same information from her.) Her total reaction (body language, tone of voice, etc.) will give you a picture of what the situation is with her, regardless of the words coming out of her mouth. Obviously a complete subject change without addressing what you just said, would be a bad sign, as would things like nervously looking away or down.

redditnowsleeplater · 2014-04-01T21:40:30+00:00

Do you ask people if they're diseased before you shake their hand?

Title	How do I approach checking if she's clean?
Author	RabidNapkin
Upvotes	2
Comments	25
Date	April 1, 2014 8:38 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/21ye1f/how_do_i_approach_checking_if_shes_clean/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-i-approach-checking-if-shes-clean.1368472 https://theredarchive.com/post/1368472

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