Girls don't like me. My responsibility - help me change my perspective.

2014-09-25T13:29:36+00:00

Whatever happened to you gotta love yourself first before someone else can love you?

Listen, I think you got two things going on. The first problem is you are comparing yourself to everyone else. You are looking around at everyone else seeing their success, but none of their failures. You have no idea how many times those guys struck out. So it's not fair to say they are any better than you with women.

The other thing you got going on is your putting too much weight on beauty. Girls put some weight on looks, but the vast majority of girls put much more value on how you make them feel. She's probably thinking, does he make me feel special, is he exciting, does he bring some serious skill to the table, etc... you are thinking in physical terms, and she's thinking in metaphysical terms.

So to sum it all up. Stop beating yourself up, and don't compare your mistake to their success... it's not fair! Also stop looking at a girl only for her looks, cause she doesn't evaluate you on those terms only.

windowtothesoul · 2014-09-25T03:13:23+00:00

Well, at least you know you're jealous and resentful. How's that working for you? Better question, is it helping you?

My advice? Take that jealousy and use it - find something you think those frat guys do well to get girls (something they do better than you and it is something you would want to get better at, don't give me a damn excuse of 'oh well they do this and it kind of works but blah blah). and work on improving that in yourself.

ppvknifefight · 2014-09-25T15:09:35+00:00

Let's be brutally candid. You've just told us why you're not succeeding. You feel like you're abnormal. You need to eradicate that from your mind first. Women, they mirror us. And when you approach with that self pity energy, they give that right back to you. Get rid of that mindset. It's not serving you. Look at your results.

Next, as you know, girls are not logical. They're emotional. When you cold approach, they dont logically think "oh, I dont know this guy! get him away!" they're going off of their feelings and the overall vibe. If you can make them "tingle" or at least make them curious off cold approach, they're interested. Tighten up your cold approaching skills. Write shit down. What did you do wrong? What will you do differently next time?

Don't be a hater. You're a bitter hater and it shows. One of the fatal mistakes AFCs make in the game is that they disparage "the jocks" or the "popular guys." Those fraternity guys you describe? They're awesome in ways that you can't even imagine. They're the life of the party, they're enjoying life, they're making women feel EMOTION. Study them and incorporate the best part of their personalities in your game. Don't transform yourself into a copy of them, of course, but let's be honest, they're getting laid for a reason.

Also, there's no girl "too hot" or "out of your league." You need to get to a point where you KNOW that NO WOMAN ON THIS PLANET is greater than you. Come on man, you're locked in a sacred battle. The world is already against you. You have to be on your side 100%. 100% of the time when you're doing this.

Change your ways. Facebook/Instagram can't hurt as long as your use it properly. My facebook is only for discussing things i'm passionate about with great people and posting the occasional picture of me doing new things. My instagram is where I post my shitty artsy photography and promote my podcast.

Take risks and stop making excuses. "I can't party! I'm social awkward in groups! Wahh!!" Grow up. Real talk, if you can't find any type of enjoyment in any party and you crumble mentally in groups, how the hell do you think you're going to get and more importantly maintain an incredible woman?

You need righteous anger. You need to do whatever it takes to get what you want and yes, that includes trying things that "isn't you." You can't be comfortable anymore.

Being "comfortable" in college is counter fucking intuitive.

johnny_77 · 2014-09-25T18:39:44+00:00

You're engaging in a pattern of blaming. Instead of looking at yourself and what you could be doing better, you're blaming women for "liking frat guys more than you." Aside from some amount of looks (which are important, but the reason we're here is because we know that there's a lot more to it), you need to look at why these guys are getting laid. Rape aside (rape is bad, most frat guys agree with that, so let's not stereotype), why do the "frat guys" pull more women than you? It's not because they're in a frat, it's because women are attracted to social-status. These guys throw the parties, they create the excitement, they have the social-standing that attracts women. Women are social creatures, don't blame them because you feel depressed in groups, create some change where you feel comfortable socializing in groups. If you don't do that, you results aren't likely to change much.

Also, A lot of it could be your demographic. I didn't do well in college because I, like you, wasn't interested in joining a fraternity and didn't fit in with a lot of college type stuff. Therefore, my social status at my school was perceived as being relatively low. When I began doing well it was after college when I fell into a different demographic. I'm a musician, so I started playing clubs around town, and low and behold, there were available women there who perceived me as having a higher social-status in my clique. You can only change who you are so much, pickup isn't as magic as we've been led to believe. I'm tattooed and dress in a sort of workwear style, sorority girls, for the most part, were simply out of my demographic. It's when you start getting involved with things that include women who have some of the same values you do that your results will increase naturally.

You say you're an artist, that's a demographic right there. In my experience, most artistic women weren't really interested in the fraternity/party scene. They liked to party, but not in the frat way. I know part of the attraction of pickup is that you think you can go up to a woman just because she's hot and have some sort of brain-trick to get in her head and make her sleep with you, but that's not really natural and not a sustainable model. You'll eventually run out of canned material and be forced to fall back on your own personality (scary, I know). So instead of trying to sleep with women who you have nothing in common with, have you tried meeting more artistic types?

Sorority girls, like the ones you mention, are naturally attracted to frat guys. Don't blame them, why wouldn't they be? They have many shared values and similarities. It'd be like me showing up to a business social in my cuffed levis and black t-shirt with my tattoos showing and wondering why I couldn't pickup on any of the professional women there and how come guys in suits were outperforming me.

edit: Also, college can be very difficult because you're in a forced demographic, for the most part. You can change where you fall in to some extent, but you're still at the same place everyday going through the same routine seeing the same people. If this is your last semester I'd continue to work on your self-improvement, but also realize that you will be able to greatly broaden your horizons once you graduate, as long as you get off the couch and get out there.

I say "can be" difficult, because if you don't fit in there, it can be hard. But for some guys they're naturals at the college scene, so they get laid all the time at college, but then afterwards they start their job, hang out with the same friends, and don't go out as much, and then all of a sudden they're the fish out of water. You HAVE to be social. How are you going to meet people if you can't socialize?

jonesandbrown · 2014-09-25T11:00:09+00:00

You just described my outlook perfectly. I could go out and be "social", but it just isn't me.

Title	Girls don't like me. My responsibility - help me change my perspective.
Author	campion-
Upvotes	5
Comments	8
Date	September 25, 2014 1:28 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2he03z/girls_dont_like_me_my_responsibility_help_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/girls-dont-like-me-my-responsibility-help-me.1377065 https://theredarchive.com/post/1377065

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