How do you overcome fear of losing virginity?

Qix213 · 2014-10-12T15:58:00+00:00

I'm afraid of getting intimate with her and she realizes I'm a virgin because I suck at everything and they get grossed out by me.

The only thing she (assuming you had a good date) will dislike is your embarrassment over it. After a good night out, she will only be turned off by your embarrassment, nothing else.

A lot of girls will find it endearing. Others will take it as a challenge to get into your pants first. Some will themselves become awkward because they think a lot of pressure is on then to be a perfect first time.

Notice the pattern here. There is a good chance, based on how you react, that their thoughts immediately go inward, on themselves, not on you or your 'problem' at all. But only if you can brush it off, and not think of being a virgin as a bad thing. If you make it a problem, she will as well.

You'll probably get asked why it took so long, or why her as your first, depending on just how old you are. There is a good chance these will be stall tactics because she just became self conscious. Our they could be honest curiosity, or just fishing for a compliment (my first time).

Those are the questions I was asked my first time (I was 25). Think about how to answer this now. And a lot if the nervousness will go away since you won't be put on the spot.

If you have an awkward first kiss, and she has a funny look, or says something. Just point out how it that went much better than expected. Something to get her to laugh and be open. Bring up the subject. Instead of her staying in her head and mulling over it, just like you are now. That's the killer.

That's what I do, but then I'm still new here, I'm sure other guys here have better responses.

2014-10-12T11:13:21+00:00

Remember that everyone has to do it and thus what you are feeling is exactly what the other person has felt at some point.

Also girls can be just as awkward/embarrassing as boys, they may be portrayed as the fairer sex but that's a lie, so try and imagine that at one point the person opposite has done something embarrassing or been just as awkward.

zeroarma · 2014-10-12T11:19:18+00:00

Your problem is really simple: You think too much! And that leads to all kinds of problems.

Your brain is telling your body that there is danger if you get intimate with a girl and gives you the reaction of fear. You need to find a way to stop this process and there is not a single method/way to stop it, there are many. For example: meditation, relaxation techniques, reading books about self improvement, therapy,...

You will need to find out what works for you, and you have do be determined and not give up, because it might even take your whole lifetime. But I can tell from experience there are many awesome experiences along the way that are worth the struggle!

foxanon · 2014-10-12T11:28:13+00:00

You're not gonna like my answer but you're overthinking this. You already know what to do. Just start making moves. Then go for kissing. Hell I was awkward as fuck for a while. It took lots of failure to learn. Now I have this awesome girlfriend.

lasagnaman · 2014-10-12T11:30:14+00:00

I have no experience and it's embarrassing

It's not.

onetothehouse · 2014-10-12T15:44:12+00:00

I was drunk when I lost mine because that's how I wanted it. I didn't have some fairytale idea of what it'd be like to lose it, I just wanted it gone. Good or bad, who knows - most people don't seem to recommend it but as a regular drinker it didn't make much of a difference to me.

ArtistBlock · 2014-10-13T02:48:10+00:00

Don't think about and just be in the present. Chances are she doesn't even noticed youre a bad kisser, virgin etc. Just go with it. If she calls you out on it just say, you haven't kissed anyone/sleep with in a while. Make up a date and she'll understand.

Sammyadams0 · 2014-10-13T03:26:35+00:00

Find a girl who is inexperienced and therefore cannot compare or else find a long term relationship and then go all the way that ways it won't be awkward of you suck cause u have been together for so long

Title	How do you overcome fear of losing virginity?
Author	hot-guy-no-pie
Upvotes	7
Comments	8
Date	October 12, 2014 10:44 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2j0o6u/how_do_you_overcome_fear_of_losing_virginity/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-overcome-fear-of-losing-virginity.1377897 https://theredarchive.com/post/1377897

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