Overthinking when texting.

happypillows · 2014-10-14T09:16:12+00:00

Text how you talk. It creates a much more 'you' feel and ultimately helps the girl gain perspective on who you are faster which will help her feel more comfortable with you.

The above piece of advice from windowtothesoul I think is the most important. Why? Because all people say is "be yourself" and "act natural" (which is easy, BS advice IMO)...but you know what, the best way to do that is by texting in your own voice, how else would you stand out anyways?

Sure, there are good and bad ways of texting but the only way to put yourself on the path of getting a handle of texting is by first being able to text in your own, unique voice...and texting a lot.

Also, try to build up a stock of exclusive "experiences" with her (preferably in person) that you can come back to in conversation. This could include anything but usually the best is to have a few inside jokes between the two of you. The inside joke is just that, inside. So whatever it is, its exclusive to both of you...nothing can really interfere with that.

With the inside joke, you can send funny things like memes of iguanas or ridiculous looking clothing or whatever it is that you had a good laugh over. This is also a good gauge on how she's interacting with you: is she proactive in sending you texts? Is there a lot of laughter and "OMG STOP IM IN CLASS"? While this, as anything, can lead to a friend zone situation, the main PRO of this is being able to build rapport. Plus, funny is good in any context.

Just as an example, I've said, "You know J. Cole looks like a depressed dog? So depressed looking that Ghostface killah wrote in his blog that J "looks like somebody broke his crayola's in half" nahmsayin?"

Obviously it helps when the person knows the people in the example above, but the good thing is J Cole does look like a dying dog and that's funny to some people. So next time I talk to her I can say, "my crayolas getting snapped all day man" when she asks how I am. Or you can randomly send her a meme of a sad dog...anything that keeps the interaction going, and keeps her laughing/entertained. The serious stuff will come along with the funny...it will balance. If it stays in "funny" mode then that's what it was meant to be...but you still made a friend who probably has hot friends.

Weegoh · 2014-10-14T03:06:07+00:00

Dude, same.

The best advice I can give you is to not worry about it. If you're staring at your phone and you have a text written out, just force yourself to hit send and put the phone away. Chances are, nothing you say over text is going to make or break your relationship with the girl. Relationships are built in person, through touch and conversation.

Use smileys, be playful and positive, and don't worry about the time it takes between texts.

Everything will work out just fine.

windowtothesoul · 2014-10-14T04:22:51+00:00

I put zero faith in texting and think it should really only be used for minor logisticals, but here's some advice:

If you want to text some one, do itl. No bullshit "wait an hour then text her" games. Following these causes people to over-think more than they actually help.
Realize that other people have lives as well, and do not worry if they do not text back within the hour. Hell, most of the time I don't think twice about it until the next day.
Text how you talk. It creates a much more 'you' feel and ultimately helps the girl gain perspective on who you are faster which will help her feel more comfortable with you.
If you do start to over-think a text message, put your phone down for half an hour, go do something, and come back to it with a fresh mind.

nasty_nater · 2014-10-14T16:18:54+00:00

Same, ruined a chance or two recently from either a) having a boring text convo or b) saying something really stupid I didn't think about (twice with the same girl actually).

I just came to realize I'm not good at texting, and that really any text could be the last one you have with a girl unless it's someone you know in person (tinder and online girls are easy to fuck up because your whole relationship before the first date is based on text). So now I just send short texts, sometimes funny/flirty, but also ignore a text overnight and text back the next day. You just have to keep yourself from trying too hard when it comes to being funny/flirty and don't come off as desperate.

2014-10-14T06:52:08+00:00

Only text post 1st sex, unless it's a friend.

some guys can text like pros, but there's fewer of those dudes than you'd think. use texts to setup logistics, keep it simple, women are people -- talk to them like you talk with dudes, that's helped me tremendously.

Just be coherent.. If you're a nerd in real life (not a bad thing) but a jock in text, she's gonna be confused. "Be yourself" isn't great advice, i'd rather say "be the best you you can be".

Don't stress.

Title	Overthinking when texting.
Author	DC1927
Upvotes	11
Comments	5
Date	October 14, 2014 2:26 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2j6g10/overthinking_when_texting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/overthinking-when-texting.1377984 https://theredarchive.com/post/1377984

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