Okay so hear me out.. you know when you are self-motivated and you get that sudden burst of motivation.. usually at night and you envision how you want to be (eating healthy, reading up on news, touching up on your hobbies) and DURING this process you're super self-conscious of it all?

For example if I get this burst of motivation I'm always super aware and in my head saying stuff like (I'm going to read a magazine) and you try and almost control it. I don't know how to explain it but you're just more aware of things you're doing and are trying to control it in a sense because it'll lead to who you want to be slowly. I must be wording it terribly but I know in my head what I'm talking about and wanted to know if anyone else goes through the same stuff?

The thing is this always dies out and I revert back to my old habits and it's almost impossible to maintain the level of self conscious control and knowing everything. Like I would be in my head during conversation and just overall feel more in control of everthing I'm doing.. just want to know how to keep this feeling up. I don't know if this is attributed to wanting to be in control of everything or what..