Read "Models" from Mark Manson and what happened afterwards

foomfoomfoom · 2015-01-25T02:38:32+00:00

You aren't making yourself vulnerable by escalating physically. Think about it this way: making yourself vulnerable is you extending the invitation to make your relationship with that person more meaningful. If you just do this emotionally, then you'll end up with another nice little friend. If you do this physically, you'll take a woman home.

Also, I'm an RP'er, so I don't believe anything women say about what they want. One of the main ways of getting them aroused is to talk about how many women you've been with, but not directly. So I decided to "make myself vulnerable" to a girl in the following way. We had already had sex a couple of times, but I wanted to own her soul, so I texted her saying we needed to have a tough conversation. We laid down on her bed, and I said that I had gone through a really tough breakup about 4 months ago, and it made me lose my faith in commitment. That led me to just have sex with a lot of random women, and I kind of got addicted to that. She asked where I was in the healing process. I said "I know we've only been together for three weeks, but I'll just say... hope is back on the radar." She swooned and we have banged every night since. She said she loved that conversation because, in her words, I made myself vulnerable to her.

So vulnerability works, but there's a trick to it.

blastanova · 2015-01-25T06:24:41+00:00

Vulnerability is the solution of everything and just be yourself

"Just be yourself" only works if the "real you" is actually attractive. (Developing an attractive lifestyle and identity is a big part of what Mark Manson's writing is about.)

"Honest communication" is only part of what Models is about. It's also about honest living. Putting it another way, it's about investing in yourself and developing an attractive lifestyle. Which seems to be a problem for you, because:

Now I "just" want to get laid with new women

This is literally the exact opposite of investing in yourself. If all you are looking for is to get laid, your desperation/neediness will become apparent in your interactions, and that will come across as unattractive. You want to develop outcome independence. It sounds like you're very far from that point.

There are a lot of guys (not necessarily you) who become outcome dependent ("I just want to get laid") because they believe that somehow, having sex with a woman will instantly improve their lives. In reality, this belief stems from a state of neediness and issues of self-worth (need for validation from women), and while getting validation from women will ease your anxiety in the short term, it won't solve your real problem.

In short, to be successful with women, you have to be successful without women. When you go out, ask yourself: can I have fun and feel good about myself even if I go home alone tonight? If the answer to that question is "no," then perhaps your time would be better spent working on yourself, and developing your own self-worth, rather than constantly chasing external validation.

Maur_ice · 2015-01-25T09:48:23+00:00

[...] Now I "just" want to get laid with new women, but that seems harder than anything I did before. [...]

I don't want to be rude but I doubt you got the book's message. It's about self-improvement and being authentic with yourself and others, not a how-to guide to get a relationship.

I focus on one thing now (that being nofap atm) because I know I can't change myself 180º from now to tomorrow. It takes time; a lot of time. And self-determination.

Title	Read "Models" from Mark Manson and what happened afterwards
Author	M4ncubus
Upvotes	10
Comments	10
Date	January 25, 2015 1:16 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/2tkjp0/read_models_from_mark_manson_and_what_happened/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/read-models-from-mark-manson-and-what-happened.1382854 https://theredarchive.com/post/1382854

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