Shy girls of Seddit, what things can a guy you like do to make your day?

gramsespektrum · 2015-04-24T13:54:24+00:00

There's probably not a lot of girls here. Try posting it to /r/askwomen instead, you'll probably get more answers.

zs26 · 2015-04-24T16:53:11+00:00

I'm just going to throw this out there that I've tended to notice some things from experience. Shy girls will like subtle cute things. They don't like grand public gestures, and tend to prefer something special and intimate (almost like this cute thing you've done is a secret between the two of you). That being said, maybe a sweet text, hiding a sweet note somewhere you know she'll find it later, getting her something she mentioned in passing casually (like if she says ooh I'd love a cheeseburger/game of monopoly/ high five). What I've noticed is that shy girls tend to fall for the small things and not the grand gestures so maybe take it from there?

5000miles2boston · 2015-04-24T14:59:31+00:00

Try some form game. It'll be trial and error, probably lots of error. I'd avoid any aggressive or forward openers. You are looking for something that works for YOU and HER.

peronium1 · 2015-04-24T16:51:43+00:00

Shy girl here. This probably varies from girl to girl, but this is what does it for me: Please give me attention - lots of eye contact, smile, talk to me, your usual shebang - and be a little persistent but patient. The first part is flattery, but the latter shows that I matter in particular. Once I get comfortable with all this, I'll begin to open up more and more.

hyukhyukhuh · 2015-04-24T14:45:14+00:00

I don't think you should have to adjust your personality or your pick up skills. I understand that you're trying to create an opener, but you should just treat a shy/introverted girl as you would any other girl - show genuine interest, ask questions, offer genuine complements when deserved. Don't set yourself up and try to cultivate an identity or style to picking up a certain girl, you're limiting yourself.

brucebwang · 2015-04-24T17:55:37+00:00

shy girls of seddit

Lol

Catch11 · 2015-04-24T12:42:35+00:00

Not all shy girls are the same...you should prob just find out what she likes then share in her enthusiasm for it if you can do it without it feeling fake and unnatural she will be overjoyed.

Bodegaz · 2015-04-24T14:45:34+00:00

I think all girls like attention. Even girls who claim they are "independent".

Natrix03 · 2015-04-24T18:43:18+00:00

Shy introvert here girl here!

It depends on the situation and what you want + the type of shy introvert. And there are types. Please bear in mind this is my personal take and based on my knowledge and experience.

There is one common trait to keep in mind that many if not all introverts may show at all times if you are unfamiliar to them and a stranger. They may seem aloof, distant, uncomfortable, bored, or disinterested. They may have a resting bitch face that is always in play if they don't know you.

Types:

shy, low self-esteem introvert- aka: wait? You’re interested in me!? que blush

Low self-esteem introverts are very easy to take advantage of and get into bed, you literally just have to overwhelm them with charm and extroverted friendliness, also showing interest in listening to them as well as interest in hobbies help. I feel like these introverts are the most plentiful. You should also bear in mind these introverts will be inwardly terrified of any attention ANYONE gives them, but this will usually be over ridden by their people pleasing nature and their yearning for someone to validate and appreciate them. These girls are most likely to end up in abusive relationships with Narcissists.

Shy confident introvert- aka : ice queen.

She knows what she wants, and may be very cutting and dismissive she thinks you don't cut it. She is shy though, she's usually at the back of her (small) group of friends analyzing people and listening in. The only way to get this girl perked up is through mutual interests and hobbies. She doesn't like shallow chit chat or being targeted for one night stands (unless she wants one). She is disinterested in the 'charming' loud narcissist that shy self-conscious introvert falls for. These girls usually find their guys through the workplace of education because she drawn to mutual expression of passion. The passion doesn’t always have to be shared, but having something that your passionate about and that fascinates you is important, it attracts her.

Shy introverted narcissists: aka: what can you do for me?

These are most often the girls that abuse and 'friend zone' nice guys. They come off as shy interesting and sweet even. They show just enough interest in YOU to get you hooked, plus feeling like you’ve met a catch. They'll often start asking for small things (innocent things) that they will eventually ramp up. These girls 'target' nice guys with low self-esteem the same way that narcissists will target girls with self-esteem issues. They pretty much honey pot you. If things seem 'too good to be true' they probably are. Most guys don't learn about manipulator as much as girls but it's important to know that abusers / manipulators often only show their true colours to their victim. So they will camouflage themselves with outgoing friends and nice people who will NEVER believe she’s a bitch like you might know her to be. She's shy so she'll appear 'mysterious' and 'interesting' In this setting. The reality is she’s a spider. Watch out.

These are the only types I’ve met and known in my life personally. I’ve found that the Self-conscious introvert will change and adapt and either become the ice queen or something else (a.ka. a more fucked up unstable version of the self-conscious girl). This depends on how they are treated and have been damaged. I was previously a self-conscious introvert, I had terrible experiences but I learned from them and now I’m ‘Ice queen’. Because of my experiences I can pretty much see right through any douche bag that swaggers up to me and tries to hit on me. This can of course go the OPPOSITE WAY, and the girl who has been taken advantage of will become depressed and more unstable and fucked up.

Short notes and tips for these girls once you have Identified them:

Self-conscious-

Slow tactic- smile at her, be interested in her, compliment her and share small innocent secrets with her.

Fast tactic- Is easily overwhelmed by intense charm and swagger, as long as you show interest in her after you have sex there is no reason you can’t continue a relationship with her after you bang her. Just be attentive, receptive to texts and tell her you appreciate her.

NOTE: she can be oblivious because of how low her self-worth is you will also have to legitimately ask her out or initiate.

Ice Queen-

Slow tactic- You’ve probably had an eye on her from school or work, she’s reserved and you’ll have to appeal to her practical nature if you don’t already have an ‘in’ with close friends. That means set up study times together, ask her questions about her passion etc. If you can find out what really fascinates her as well as show HER that you have passions and goals, She’ll decide if she likes you and has time for you. Beware that you WILL have to blatantly ask her on a date eventually, or risk her just thinking of you as a study buddy. If she’s SUPER interested and wants companionship she’ll go for you if she feels like she won’t be rejected.

Fast tactic- Unless she’s horny and she’s had her eye on YOU because you fascinate her in some way there IS no fast tactic. Many Ice queens are ex- self-conscious girls so they really don’t have time for your come on to her. She’s already played that game before.

Narcissist-

Slow tactic- She’ll target you if you seem like a nice pushover and you seem sort of desperately interested and attentive. To actually SLEEP with her is difficult, you’ll have to be a bit of a manipulative person yourself and play the same game she plays. She might have sex with you if you can convince her you’ll leave otherwise just to re-assert control. There are many men with dead-bedrooms because they fall for promises of sex from this lady. They will generally only give you enough to keep you around so the game is to convince her that you need sex intermittently to stick around and that she WANTS you to stick around.

Fast tactic- You literally just have to be more of a narcissistic than she is, similar to the self-conscious girl being ‘overwhelmed’ by a narcissist, other narcissists will sort of be drawn to their mirror image. She is often the girl with many ‘friend zone guys’ desperately trying to save her while she’s in a relationship with giant narcissistic douchewads. So uh, yeah.

There is also the chameleon introvert. a.k.a : the girl that you thought was an extrovert but isn't. I'm not going to go into details with her because your attracted to OBVIOUS introverts and these fit the type! Good luck  I Hope you find the advice helpful and not too impossibly long and boring to read.

Edit: Oh persistent, being persistent helps a lot. showing interest continually and evenly. showing a lot of interest then withdrawing is the fastest way to lose an introvert.

Bodegaz · 2015-04-24T14:45:49+00:00

I think all girls like attention. Even girls who claim they are "independent".

Title	Shy girls of Seddit, what things can a guy you like do to make your day?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	12
Comments	25
Date	April 24, 2015 11:05 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/33p6ti/shy_girls_of_seddit_what_things_can_a_guy_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/shy-girls-of-seddit-what-things-can-a-guy-you-like.1387171 https://theredarchive.com/post/1387171

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