How do you deal with shit testing co workers?

Fucty_Artsy · 2014-02-22T21:53:29+00:00

The key thing here is to don't take yourself too serious. I'm INTJ myself and once realized I come off as weak in front of other people because I take myself too serious. Don't care if someone makes a joke of you. What you wanna do is agree and amplify and go on with your day. But don't make a big story out of it, instead change the subject or challenge the other person. People with high self esteem aren't afraid to getting embarrassed. They embrace the challenge.

Try to open yourself up more in front of other people, talk more about you and be honest in what you say. Identify and stop negative self talk, get your focus on the present moment and don't contemplate about unimportant things in the past or future. You'll be in an overall better mood and it will be easier to make witty comebacks. Don't think there are any books out there teaching how to handle such situation. Best advice would be if you read some PUA-stuff, especially AMOG-destoryers.

[deleted] · 2014-02-22T16:56:15+00:00

Also would there be any material online that demonstrates these kind of concepts in terms of other people and not just game or are is pretty much all the material on theredpill applicable to these types of scenarios?

[deleted] · 2014-02-22T18:19:21+00:00

Thanks for the advice everyone

2comment · 2014-02-22T18:03:58+00:00

If it's just their tone and they don't do anything (ie keying your car or what not), just let it slide off your back. Total amused distachment.

Wear a blackbelt to work the next day. Or do witty comebacks if you feel like it. Read some Oscar Wilde, he's the king. Or don't and just raise your eyebrow and be like "That's nice." Or agree/amplify. Whatever. This is just for your personal satisfaction in the end because some people are not worth your time.

Improve, live well, get skills, be more than just competent and a better job or promotion. This burns petty people up more than any words can in the end and is more productive.

On getting your boss involved like another person said. That's a situation is a bit like getting into an accident, the insurance company is going to view you as a liability and raise your premiums even if you're not at fault. Same with dragging in the boss, the good ones don't want to play daycare at the job, so even if you're not at fault, they start seeing you in a worse light than before. Save that card for serious situations, not minor spats.

SpinalArt · 2014-02-22T16:35:38+00:00

Never take it personal. With the women you can make a sarcastic/funny or just as rude reply with a complete or stoic reaction. Or you can even reply with a "Thank you so much, you're so thankful" in a authentically sweet kind of way. The bottom line is that you show no reaction emotionally or that it bothers you. If they cross the line simply say "don't talk to me like that" and choose wether to get higher ups involved.

As far as the guy goes maybe he's just busting your chops and wants to get you going in a playful way. Agree and amplify. Say you're learning to become the next bruce lee and to watch out because you got the eye of the tiger. Some stupid shit like that. I'm not 100% on your personality type but I think it's one on the more sensitive side so you're best bet is to learn boundaries and learning how to deflect and not take things too personal. Hope that helps somewhat.

cray-cray-cray · 2014-02-22T17:38:31+00:00

INTJs may not seem alpha as a group, but TRP talks a lot about learned skills, and INTJs can definitely do that. Combine that with the snarky confidence a lot of INTJs have, you can eventually live what you learn.

Same with social skills... sure some people are naturals, but it's a learned skill for an INTJ.

totes_meta_bot · 2014-02-22T21:35:05+00:00

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Kwizkey · 2014-02-22T16:48:28+00:00

Don't take anything Steve says seriously. Smile and subtley mock him for it. I would be passive aggressive sometimes because it sets a certain boundary that he will notice and respect you for. Never react and get angry:

"Haha you look like you could learn a thing or two"

"You're full of great ideas Steve! I should hire you as my advisor."

This can result in aggressive reactions from him but that just asserts that you are better than him. Ideally in an working environment you don't want to make enemies but I personally wouldn't care if he hated me or not.

Other times you can be calm and unfazed by his provocation. Shrug and mutter a simple "yeah, nice idea" without turning away from what you're doing. Show him that you are not interested about what he says or thinks and it may incite him to try and placate or seek your approval. Aka you are higher value.

He wants a reaction, but give him nothing that he can use as an excuse to attack you for. Make him feel silly for bothering you. He will back down.

steadymotion · 2014-02-22T16:46:53+00:00

I'm also considered an INTJ. Honestly this might not be the most optimal strategy, but it works for me. I usually just don't give a fuck about thinking of witty comebacks, thinking of what is the most alpha thing to do, etc. Whenever someone does something I don't like, I simply look at them calmly, shake my head, and say, "No," as if I was chastising a puppy or a little child. I have better things to do than engage in conversation with fools.

People tend to leave me alone because I make myself boring to them. I deflect attention. I don't give them the validation they're looking for. I would bet money that people avoid me because if they talked to me they'd feel depressed afterwards from all the one-word answers I give them. But it works. It filters out the people I don't want to interact with, and the people I'm compatible with are quickly revealed.

[deleted] · 2014-02-23T00:54:34+00:00

Kill him

Title	How do you deal with shit testing co workers?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	17
Date	February 22, 2014 2:05 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1ymfxy/how_do_you_deal_with_shit_testing_co_workers/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-you-deal-with-shit-testing-co-workers.139029 https://theredarchive.com/post/139029