On Nexting

mrust · 2014-03-13T21:12:59+00:00

I am looking for an LTR and we discuss this with positive reciprocation on both our parts. We have both agreed on wanting sex on a daily basis.

There. I've identified exactly where you went wrong. You don't need to have a logical discussion about "where the relationship is going" during the first week. You definitely do not set a schedule for when you will have sex. You essentially tried to negotiate desire from a position of weakness and now she is not attracted to you.

The position of weakness comes from having told her you are looking for an LTR and making it obvious that you find her a good candidate.

There is no getting this one back, so yes, next.

aniw · 2014-03-13T21:29:31+00:00

Here's the thing, imo:

the idea of nexting lies on assuming a few things are true.

1 - there are many fish in the sea, or many women out there to meet

2 - attractive men with self respect have many women to choose from

3 - you can make yourself more attractive with hard work because what makes a man attractive is not always what he was born with

If you work hard on yourself and build a comfortable level of confidence, you'll find that you will no longer have to look for advice on if/when you should next a girl. As soon as something comes up that does not meet your standards, you can just meet someone new.

This does not mean to next every girl though, as they say eat while you're at the table. There are no unicorns out there.

pewpewing · 2014-03-14T00:24:59+00:00

if/when to next her? She nexted YOU. Check your ego at the door and listen to the comments in this thread.

robesta · 2014-03-13T23:51:53+00:00

It sounds like you came across clingy. You should be screening an LTR, not trying to lock down the first chick that opens her legs for you. Spin plates and decide on an LTR from a position of abundance, not desperation.

Most chicks are not LTR material.

Modified_Hackware · 2014-03-13T21:07:04+00:00

She said she wants space and you've had no contact.

Don't make a mental effort to "next" her just yet. Just forget about her and go do your thing elsewhere.

It's not often a girl will turn down a good thing - and your thing isn't "bad". She'll likely come back into your frame in a few days and if she doesn't - who cares? The going was good whilst it lasted, she wants other things.

Manuel_S · 2014-03-15T00:50:45+00:00

Always be the one to escalate sex.

Never be the one to escalate commitment. That shows N E E D.

anothermonth · 2014-03-13T21:39:53+00:00

setting up another date for Saturday and ending it explicitly if she isn't interested.

Is there ever a good reason for explicit ending?

soupermain · 2014-03-13T22:29:14+00:00

You're justifying her behavior too much. You have feelings for her out of a lack of abundance. I can't say I've ever not fucked a girl after smoking tree with her so there was problem number 1... Next was a long time ago. Delete her number if you have it saved and only respond to her if she talks about wanting to give you head. She's just a learning point for you now.

myrpaccount · 2014-03-14T19:35:43+00:00

Another way you showed weakness that I have not seen mentioned yet was contacting her during the week after the first weekend of fucking. Because you either contacted or responded to her it showed that you don't have other options. You would have been better off being too busy with work/hobby/friends to get together with her.

I'm guessing you could have made yourself too busy until a week later and then sent her a text that you are going to whatever event you wanted to pick out the following Friday and asked her if she wanted to tag along and she would have been game.

Gold_Leaf_Initiative · 2014-03-15T21:22:30+00:00

You should have dated for at least a month (create more attraction) before asking her where her head is. You got too clingy too fast.

It's possible she's seeing someone else, as is her right given her status, and you indirectly asked her to give that up.

asd1100 · 2014-03-14T07:10:44+00:00

I am looking for an LTR and we discuss this with positive reciprocation on both our parts.

her mind makes it imposible for her to say, I just wanna bang

therefor she flakes, you push and she gets the "to serious card"

Egalitarian does not mean identical, she does not live in the same percieved reality, she has different emotional process and abides by different social rules. Stop projecting, let women do what they want and act from a position of power, because you are supreme ruller of your life, do not accommodate them and never tolerate bad behavior.

Would you like to continue THE relationship with a bipolar girl, or do you just want a relationship whith sex weekends? (I'm exaggerating and giving her the benefit of the doubt, it's much more probable that she is a manipulative bitch, or takes advice from one).

Kinda of a huge commitment over only 2 dates and a weekend fuck a marathon. But seriously move on, she said she needs space, give it to her, give her the Atlantic, air is free, date other chicks(in fact tell her your balls need draining so if she gets space you get strange), she will either come back and shut her hamster up, because "this one is a keeper" or break it of entirely in which case she would have been more trouble in the long term.

Title	On Nexting
Author	TheDankster
Upvotes	19
Comments	37
Date	March 13, 2014 8:38 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/20chjl/on_nexting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/on-nexting.139091 https://theredarchive.com/post/139091

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