Need opinions/ideas on how to dress & act ... I feel as though my husband doesn't want me :(

mooffincup · 2015-07-20T17:49:39+00:00

Let's not get too hard on ourselves. I highly doubt this is an issue of your image. Sounds more like his problem.

I mean it could come from a couple places.

He could just be being lazy. Like sexuality wise, he's walking around the corner to McDonalds when he could walk a few more blocks for a 5 star restaurant.

He could have a kink that he's insecure about. That he isn't sure will be received well by you.

It could be a lot of things. But your image might be the least likely of all of them.

nick_storm · 2015-07-21T18:30:13+00:00

How did you flirt with him when you two first met? Perhaps it's time to dust off your old game ;) But seriously, try to recall what worked for him before, and do it again. My bet is that it will still turn him on.

chiliehead · 2015-07-21T20:18:36+00:00

It´s impossible to give you an answer with this amount of info.

Reasons for a low sex drive:

he has a low sex drive
stress, anxiety
too much porn/masturbation
bad diet
overweight, lack of exercise
lack of testosterone
lack of sleep
depression
disease

and so on. Has it always been this way? Did he/you change much emotionally and physically? Any major events or stuff like that?

There´s /r/sex and /r/deadbedrooms for input. But let me have a take on it.

over 5 years

Maybe it´s just too much routine. Not only in bed, but generally. Seduction never stops and so keep making dates, showing affection etc. Both of you! What are your love languages?

Whenever I try to engage him he gives me an excuse and says no

Good that you take the initiative. But how often do you do it? Too often? Not enough? In bad moments?

So I get distant and upset

That won´t get you anywhere but into a miserable place. You have a right to feel frustrated, but you have to communicate. Most (all) men (human beings) aren´t that good at just reading minds, body language, behavior or (subtle) cues.

then he tries to make up for it, so he puts the moves on me at which point I'm not in the mood

So either he just wants to apologise. Or he really gets a little turned on. However, no you don´t want. This ultimately discourages him. He put in some (little) effort and nothing happened. MAybe he´s too exhausted/ stressed out to do much and this way he loses all his energy.

Then of course he goes off and masturbates

This shows he has some kind of sex drive and you could work with it. And talk about the masturbating. Non-judgemental. It´s perfectly normal but why masturbate if you have a wife?

I want to feel sexy

You married for some reasons.

I've been working out and eating better

How about him? Is he healthy? Does he support you?

now I need opinions from you guys

Give us some pics. (No you don´t have to but more info helps with more detailed answers). Age, occupation and so on.

How can I get dressed or act in such a way that will actually make him want me?

Most women don´t know how to get women. Men can´t give you much general advice with guys. Everybody has an own taste. If he has no preferences, wear what you like/suits you best. Confidence and shit. /r/fPUA. I like to get treated well or spoiled by women sometimes, it feels good to be appreciated. You should know waht works for you 2.

Is this the only issue? Are you both happy about everything else? Or did the realtionship just become a little stale in general?

Edit: Great of you that you want to improve, hopefully if you both put in some effort it will work out in the end.

winefest · 2015-07-20T17:58:09+00:00

Hey there, let me see what I can come up with: - be socially engaging and independent when u guys are out in a group. Nothing turns me on more than a woman who can catch the attention of a crowd at a social group. That said, don't disregard him at said event, but let him talk to you and when he does, reward it with enough attention and flirting before u take care of the group again. 2- keep working out and eating well. Get that sexy body. 3- forget about asking for sex for a while, let him lead the act, that way you can gauge his behavior when he shows any minor change.

That's all that comes to mind right now. But the most important thing of course, is to try and be introspective as well as analyze his behavior to identify the cause of your problems. That way you can tackle it better when you know what you're dealing with.

P.S. no need for swinging yet ;)

wotsitsaredelicious · 2015-07-20T18:09:14+00:00

I'm pretty sure this post would be better off in r/deadbedrooms.

But for me lingerie was always the way to get me going if I wasn't in the mood (though to be honest it was always pretty rare). My ex just walking in the room wearing some slinky gear, whatever I was doing would be dropped.

mooffincup · 2015-07-23T23:10:11+00:00

Thank you guys for the suggestions! Give me a couple days to answer some questions - difficult to answer via the app.

Title	Need opinions/ideas on how to dress & act ... I feel as though my husband doesn't want me :(
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	0
Comments	11
Date	July 20, 2015 3:16 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3dycqh/need_opinionsideas_on_how_to_dress_act_i_feel_as/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/need-opinionsideas-on-how-to-dress-act-i-feel-as.1391294 https://theredarchive.com/post/1391294

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