How do you get over break ups?

cmiovino · 2015-09-02T23:11:04+00:00

100% listen to me on this one. I'm 27 and have been in 3 serious long term relationships. Each was for 3-4 years each.

After the first in high school, I just wanted to date again. Dated some girl for a few months, then that crapped out, then hit up this other girl for 4 more years in college. That ended because I was needy and got comfortable.

Then I found seduction, but only used it to get try to get a girlfriend again. Had limited success because I was still not working on me or fixing problems. I chased my ex for about 6 months. Even on the night I met my next girlfriend I actually thought I was going to party my ex would be at........ how ironic.

The next lasted 3 years and I really thought that was it. Then she cheated on me when she was in Europe. So I was back at seduction again.... I immediately started online game and all that 'easy' stuff. Nothing worked.

I realized I had been just chasing skirts for the last 10 years and really didn't do me at all. I was broken, a loser for the most part. Thought I was a hot shot PUA in my head, but I really wasn't. So I took some time off.

For 3-4 months I did nothing but workout, eat well, go out with the bros. I got deeper into my hobbies and picked up new ones. I also traveled solo (although you might not be able to). I also did NoFap and that really helped get my mind off sex all the time.

I woke up after that and started dating here and there. My results were staggering! I was much much better. I also didn't get so butt hurt when girls rejected me. I had value and knew it for the first time in my life. I also came to the realization that my happiness came from doing the things I loved, even if that was alone/solo, or just with some guy friends. It didn't have to all come from a single girl.

My suggestion is to completely cut all ties, delete or put away everything you have that reminds you of her. Go to the gym and lift. Get hobbies and get involved with them. Get guy friends and hang out with them. Completely stop all porn usage or thinking of sex (yes, it's hard).

Do this for 3-4 months and find who you are. It takes time. I still feel like I'm recovering, but I feel SO SO SO much better than I ever have in my life. Now the girls I date and see can clearly see and feel that from me. It's made seduction so much easier and more fun.

Take time off, work on you, then go date other girls.

Murfdigidy · 2015-09-02T19:55:12+00:00

Time bro time, break ups suck, they'll be a day where you'll be ready to move on and talk to other girls but I'd be lying if there wasn't a mourning period. Don't fret 3 weeks is still early in a break up, some people take weeks others take months to feel better.

With that said the best way to get over a break up is to meet other girls. Get out there, even if you're not that into it, heck sometimes those are the best times to do it because you're not trying too hard. Girls love when guys don't try too hard, they want a guy to be himself and sometime that happens when they're in a situation like you and are vulnerable. Remember each day gets better, take time to improve on yourself everyday. Now that you're single you'll have more time to do this, to read up on how to become a stud, to go to the gym, or just improving your outlook on life. Sometimes those who get knocked down stay there, real men get up, learn from their mistakes, and make note to be better than they were yesterday. Go get'm

dking168 · 2015-09-02T19:49:32+00:00

Fuck other bitches.

IANAPUA_Yet · 2015-09-02T21:08:26+00:00

Fuck ten other women.

Or as we say in polite society: you get over breakups by moving on. Focusing on the past will keep you in the past. Get out and live a socially active life, like you should be doing anyways. Meet new people, particularly women.

Masian · 2015-09-02T21:51:31+00:00

My main problem was that I would find myself often having thoughts of my ex during my daily life. So each time I had an intrusive thought I would relate it back to something I truly disliked about her. Like if I caught myself thinking that a girl looked similar, I would renember how her stupid red hair dye got fucking everywhere. Soon enough the thoughts stopped and I was able to pursue other endeavors.

autfag · 2015-09-02T22:16:12+00:00

Dude i was with the love of my life for 3 years and then she left me out of nowhere (came back to me but what she'd done couldnt've been forgiven, too long to explain)... theres pretty much nothing you can do to really "get over her" if you truly loved her, trust me. I've had others within two months after the break up and dont get me wrong it was a big help, but it wont change your feelings. It just takes time. Thats it, just try not to overthink it and get on with your life... you dont wanna waste your nights drinking and living in the past.

Hope you find your peace and who knows,maybe a new love.

SmaugTheMagnificent · 2015-09-03T01:34:26+00:00

The people over at /r/ExNoContact are a great support.

As far as what I would say, pick up a hobby. Or improve a current hobby, pick up a new skill. Volunteer, meet new people. If there are some things that the two of you used to do either own it and make it yours, or let it leave your life.

Your best friends, just ask them to hangout and distract you for an evening.

Don't stop, if you don't move on you're gonna spend more time catching up with life.

ninjachik · 2015-09-03T05:31:35+00:00

I had a breakup a four months ago. It was pretty mutual, both agreeing it was for the best since we're headed to different schools. Getting over took a while, but I'm over him, or so I thought. Now, whenever I see/hear his name, my heart leaps a little. I have no idea how to get rid of this feeling.

Title	How do you get over break ups?
Author	Fawful_had_fury
Upvotes	12
Comments	14
Date	September 2, 2015 7:34 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3jeaq3/how_do_you_get_over_break_ups/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-get-over-break-ups.1393538 https://theredarchive.com/post/1393538

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