What's the deal with smiling? I've heard both that a big beaming smile is the most important thing in pickup and I've also heard that it's a sign of submission and James Bond (who never smiles) is the ideal, sometimes all this from the same PUA.

ItsBinissTime · 2015-10-04T06:36:13+00:00

You want the Bond smirk, not a big grin.

But what you really want is the feeling that produces the smirk:

Comfortable in Your Environment
You need to feel totally at ease. The kind of feeling that lets you spread out, take up space, make eye contact, etc.
King of the Word
You need to feel like the world is here for you to experience. No matter what happens, what anyone thinks, says, or does, it's all for you to see and experience, to enjoy and be amused by.

Being practiced at the above makes you happier than most people around you. When you realize that, you'll get that "I know a funny secret" feeling. You know, the kind that puts a little smirk on your face.

Bond Smirk

GLOOTS_OF_PEACE · 2015-10-04T10:43:45+00:00

GAH fuck this bullshit. All of these questions come back to the same thing: who you are matters more than what you do. If you're the boss then you're allowed to smile whenever the fuck you want. Smile if you're genuinely pleased with what's going on. It's more congruent like that. If you don't have a reason to smile, then the fundamental problem is that you gotta find yourself a reason to smile. It's not attractive to mope.

2015-10-03T23:42:18+00:00

Smile some times otherwise you come across as too intense.

Also baring your teeth is a sign of submission(thanks Dwight).

2015-10-04T13:43:14+00:00

Give me a break, James Bond is a fictional character. It is amusing to me someone would actually say this. You are falling into the halo effect of a movie star in an expensive suit. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halo_effect "The halo effect is a specific type of confirmation bias, wherein positive feelings in one area cause ambiguous or neutral traits to be viewed positively."

Like not smiling, lol.

2015-10-04T00:25:10+00:00

What a smile means depends on how you do it and what the context is. I think smile is mostly about happiness, which opposite of sadness. Anger and fear are more related to aggression vs submission.

Starkboy · 2015-10-04T03:52:47+00:00

You can either be James Bond or Van Wilder at a time. Choose one.

2015-10-04T06:11:26+00:00

This wouldn't happen to be 60 Years of Challenge would it?

Truth be told, it depends on the woman. The most powerful men in the world (including politicians, CEOs, billionaires, super-athletes) do a lot of smiling. Not in an anxious-nervous kind of way, but because being powerful makes you happy, and happy people smile.

For more insecure women who have a lot of issues, a smile (any smile) can be a bit of a turnoff. For one thing, their dad probably didn't smile, and even though he wasn't a great father, women have a lot of trouble being attracted to men who aren't like their fathers. Also, some people just don't think that life is fun or pleasurable. They think it's just one shitty day followed by another and anyone who is smiling is ignorant of the true nature of what the world is.

I recommend getting in great shape and doing what you can to improve your facial presence so that your smile will last the right amount of time and appear powerful and genuine, but if you are a happy dude, be a happy dude. If you don't smile, don't force yourself to. Both the happy guy and the overly serious kind of depressed guy have the full potential to get laid a lot.

JessePinkman88 · 2015-10-04T06:33:08+00:00

All body language is an expression on how you feel inside. Rather than working out if you should smile (or when and how), work out how you can feel the best about yourself and let the body language express naturally.

Having said that, some people say that it can also work in reverse. That is, if you force yourself to stand up straight and smile, it can make you feel better on the inside. However, that is a short term solution and ultimately you don't want to have to think about it, you just want it to come naturally.

Smiling it not really a choice. Prove it to yourself by going and watching a funny compilation on youtube and try NOT smiling/laughing!

SmoothPrimal · 2015-10-04T09:20:57+00:00

Smiling naturally is good. Fake smiling is horrible so just smile naturally and frown naturally.

fullhalf · 2015-10-03T23:57:28+00:00

what are you talking about. james bond smiles all the time.

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