Basically, I was already bad enough with my depression, and, this has made it all the more bad. I'd say this goal has aggravated my depression to the point of giving me body dysmorphia, social anxiety, and making me so unstable and terrified of being alone that, to protect myself and get me help for my depression, my mother is considering putting me in a mental hospital. Like, I did have depression prior to all this, but, the crushes I've had on various girls for the past four years has made my depression far worse than it originally was. Not to mention, I recently lost a friend I considered my brother, which has given me extreme trust issues and brought back my social anxiety. By now, I can't stand to be around girls because I think they hate me and think I'm disgusting, and I can't stand to be around other guys outside of my small group of friends because I think most guys are better looking then me (including my friends, except if can at least talk to and hang out with them). Just, how do I stop caring?