Is it common for girls to put guys into "hookup" and "would date" boxes, and not hook up with the latter, while hooking up with the former? Story inside.

letsgetrandy · 2016-01-02T19:39:49+00:00

You need to create sexual tension. Push-pull.

2016-01-03T00:13:32+00:00

it's just that my confidence is now shattered even worse than before because this kind of shit happens to me all the time.

Gotta keep your confidence up man. I know how you feel. I just had a girl go from hot to cold on me under similar circumstances. It's not fun. I felt like was I getting played with and I hate the dishonesty in the mixed signals.

Maybe you should have push-pulled harder or a piece of your game was lacking. The bottom line is learn from the mistakes, don't dwell on pain, and just keep working at it. Keep that abundance mindset. Don't just say you have it, you gotta believe it. Rebounding off something like that is so much easier with the can do attitude that comes with that mindset.

I think a little more push-pull would have been good (already mentioned but a good point), but just remember that for the future.

Mettephysics · 2016-01-02T23:05:36+00:00

I didn't read you're while post. 33/f can confirm have always had a "would date" box with guys in it that I would NOT be interested in anything causal with.

grass_cutter · 2016-01-03T00:35:09+00:00

You probably have a problem, besides insecurity which everyone gets, that you try to play everything "cool" or "too cool for school" or "Mr. Chill" because you're afraid of putting yourself out there.

The only thing I see in your wall of text of you taking charge or taking the lead or showing any sexual interest whatsoever is kissing her -- and who even knows how that happened, maybe she planted herself right in front of you at midnight.

Girls want to feel wanted. They want to be chased a little. Not desperately but don't worry bout that at this point, you're so far the other direction. They want a little effort and chase and balls.

You should have been giving her the fuck me eyes all night, walked right up to her to say hello, smiling and not saying much. Dance with her. Act like you are losing control and want to ravage her right there but can't (if a little acting is required because, for some reason, you're not that horny that night, then do a little acting. But really try to be in the moment).

From what you described it sounded like she was dropping hints all night and you stood there waiting for her next move/ waiting for her to lead you to the bedroom and whip your dick out. That's a turn off for women, or otherwise she doesn't believe you like her all that much.

A good rule of thumb is to never let a girl 'escalate' bigger than you. This isn't some machismo thing, it's just a rule that works, I can't explain why. Aka if a girl pinches your ass, you better go at least that big immediately after (aka slap her ass back, but obviously use case by case judgment).

So it's either that, or this girl is weird/ didn't want to put out because she wants to date you/ found some other guy. Weird shit happens sometimes with women.

Bigjohnthug · 2016-01-03T13:37:06+00:00

If you don't make moves quickly, especially if you're a good catch, girls will want to date you. They see the opportunity to lock you down with sex because the lack of rapid escalation shows you're probably not that comfortable with it and that you place more value on it than they.

Also if you're tall good looking etc you need far less game. You can literally just use escalate-isolate-fuck 'game' aka screening.

breisingerstrudel · 2016-01-02T22:08:27+00:00

sounds like she wants to be dominated by you a little more. next time grab her and be powerful. she will go for it

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