Filled for divorce, wife scared me today, how to keep frame?

Archwinger · 2014-05-27T20:57:30+00:00

You've filed for divorce. Tell her she's not supposed to communicate directly with you and to contact your attorney. Just keep repeating that until she goes away. Then tell your attorney to get some kind of court order that prevents her from harassing you.

She's hoping to goad you into saying or doing something that will result in bigger prizes for her. Don't interact with her.

Jasmene2012 · 2014-05-28T08:06:16+00:00

I think she is recording the conversation. She is trying trap you because she seems to have asked the questions about/around cheating during your marriage.

HDThoreauaway · 2014-05-27T21:22:06+00:00

It sounds like she misses being intimate with you, and regardless of whatever else happened in your marriage, part of her is scared of losing that. She's hurt, and she's scared, and part of her wants you to be the bad guy so she can blame what she's feeling on you, because that's easier than taking head-on the negative emotions she's feeling.

I'd avoid shitting on her appearance and her emotions. You aren't going to gain anything from that. Start modeling the relationship now you plan on having with her after you're divorced, and relentlessly expect from her the standard by which you want to be treated. If you don't know what those are, figure it out and then stick to it. Maybe that's formal and distant, maybe that's just through your lawyers. Regardless, it's going to be easiest on you (and your soon-to-be-ex) if you're respectful and keep drama out of it.

So instead of reacting to what she does instance by instance, recognize that there are a lot of negative emotions and hurt feelings to go around, decide how things ought to be between you while acknowledging that emotional reality, and simply start behaving the way. Today.

secret_barber · 2014-05-28T03:48:32+00:00

Just STFU...don't talk to her.

FortunateBum · 2014-05-28T16:37:14+00:00

Wow man, wow. She's trying to find dirt to use against you.

You shouldn't be living with her, let alone sleeping in the same bed. I guess leaving your house is out of the question for legal reasons, but staying there will suck.

Most people physically separate before a divorce. That you're still living together makes it much harder.

You should be doing everything in your power to make the divorce happen ASAP. Do not drag it out.

dousche · 2014-05-28T21:25:50+00:00

Confront her where you have placed cameras and microphones, and get her to SAY that joke again about rape. Try to provoke her to say her nastiest shit on camera, and then keep it to yourself.

"I am finalizing the divorce, what are you going to do about it?

You will play with her emotions and she will flip her shit and yell all kind of crazy shit you can use against her IF and only IF she tries something. Be moral, even when she is not.

Title	Filled for divorce, wife scared me today, how to keep frame?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	13
Date	May 27, 2014 8:45 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/26mxwl/filled_for_divorce_wife_scared_me_today_how_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/filled-for-divorce-wife-scared-me-today-how-to.140016 https://theredarchive.com/post/140016

Comments