Being annoyed and maintaining frame

HDThoreauaway · 2014-05-31T14:15:54+00:00

One of the girls later told me how I seemed pissed off and I should chill out.

She was giving you good advice. Don't get annoyed. Visible annoyance is an emotional statement of uncontrollable life impotence. You should have recognized that everybody was high and not moving and said, cheerily, "well people, I'm starving. I'm gonna order some food from [PLACE THAT DELIVERS]." Then you should have gotten their menu on your phone, passed it around, and said, "do you want to eat anything? I'm going to put in an order in a few minutes."

Everybody would have ordered food, you all would have eaten, and you would have come across as a shit-done-getter. You would have established, in a non-confrontational, good-for-everybody way that you are confident, you get what you want, and the rest of the group goes along with you.

Instead, you seemed like you couldn't fall in with the group dynamic, but also didn't have the power to change anything. The instinctive response for everyone else is to lower their emotional need to address your problems the next time you want to do something the rest of the group doesn't.

stillnoturday · 2014-05-31T14:04:25+00:00

Maintaining frame means people can't read your emotions further more it gives you an edge when dealing with them. I would have suggested something they didnt like it fine, then I would have ordered something and continued like everything is normal. Them being hungry doesn't affect me in the slightest.

captainbloodd · 2014-06-01T03:00:46+00:00

Next time if everyone is acting indecisive, just calmly say: "I'm going to X, if anyone wants to join me, then let's go".

Then you leave and eat dinner like a boss, even if you're by yourself.

wall-of-meth · 2014-06-01T14:41:53+00:00

Don't let yourself get annoyed. You get annoyed because a situation didn't play out as you wanted. Stuff like that happens and get over it. You now are in that situation, so the only thing that should matter to you is to make the best out of it in your own interest.

You were pissed because people couldn't decide and yet you didn't decide either. Why let it come that far? You want to eat, you get something to eat. You don't need to wait for others when they don't even know what they want. People will follow your lead when you actually take the charge and lead them. You should have lead them by just telling "Well, I'm hungry and I'm gonna get something to eat. Whoever wants, can join me.". I bet, suddenly they just played along.

Title	Being annoyed and maintaining frame
Author	a_nus
Upvotes	4
Comments	9
Date	May 31, 2014 1:48 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/26yf86/being_annoyed_and_maintaining_frame/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/being-annoyed-and-maintaining-frame.140082 https://theredarchive.com/post/140082

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