Who here knows the qualities that women look for in a man she'll have sex with?

thuperthanx · 2016-03-14T04:29:38+00:00

24/f checking in. I have a decidedly objective perspective towards sex, and my habits are a bit stereotypically "male".

Traits I look for in men I will sleep with:

"Not a no". I don't go to a bar and scout for talent and say I would fuck him and him and him. I go to a bar and look at and note all the people I won't sleep with. If you're not a "no" you have a shot for one reason or another. It could be looks, personality, SOMETHING. I've seen plenty of hot guys who are no's for whatever reason - no fault of their own.
Men who have a shot are generally well-groomed as a matter of habit. There's a difference between the guy who dressed up for the evening and the guy who lives a clean and well put-together lifestyle. They generally don't over-product their hair, don't reek of cologne, and have tailored shirts that fit their frame. They wear their clothes, their clothes don't wear them.
Good shoes, good belt, and a good watch. My personal value system is buy once, but well. I always look to see if they have decent shoes (not unnecessarily old or worn out) a belt that isn't splitting at the seams and a watch that isn't scratched up. This is not a "he has money" thing - this is to see if this is a man who is invested in himself. A man who is invested in himself respects himself, and typically respects other people who respect themselves.
"Over themselves" we're all Humans. We make mistakes, we makes fools of ourselves, we mess up, slip up, spill our drinks, blah blah blah. When it happens, it just happens. You're not going to change it - the guy who can take everything in stride, be a bit vulnerable, and laugh at themselves is super attractive. Why? Because I trust them to know what they want, and to know their own feelings. There's nothing worse than getting a guy in bed and all he does is apologise for some perceived short-coming. If I've got you naked in bed, you're right where I want you. Now let's get to it.
"Not an asshole" hear me out. That's sounds outrageously cliche, but it's not. I want a kind human being. When shit hits the fan, when say, you know you're NOT going to call me back, even though you know I want you to, I want to have at least slept with a kind person who isn't an asshole. You can never escape every painful situation, and as such, it's the people who genuinely try hard to be kind above all else that I want to be involved with. Women can sense men who genuinely try to be kind.
Try once, move on. I get approached and there are men who don't respect my time or that I've very pointedly declined them. There are plenty of men who message me on okcupid, and when I don't respond, I get the "I guess not" "never mind" "you're a bitch" "why are you on here if you're not going to respond" crap. I have 100+ messages in okcupid. I can't handle everything, and I keep a reserve of people I could be interested in waiting and choose the one I want to talk to next if my current one doesn't work out.
Efficiency &amp; deliberateness. You're talking to a girl online and it never goes anywhere? Yeah. Because you've never suggested a time and a place to actually meet up. I've started being direct if I like the guy, but the ones I'm unsure about have to finally just get to the point and suggest specific action. Same thing if you close a number. Stop playing the "what are you up to this weekend?" Crap. Just say, "are you available on Saturday afternoon for coffee at x place?" If I actually want to meet you, I'll counter with an alternative if that doesn't work. If a girl doesn't, she probably doesn't want to meet up. Move on.
Any man can be attractive if they're invested in ME. I've met some really lovely guys who will continuously compliment some arbitrary thing - my hair, my nails, my earrings, etc. If they keep doing it over and over, I will know that they're not understanding ME, because I personally do not react to comments like that. It shows me they're not listening or understanding me. You can tell when someone is listening versus when someone is waiting for you to finish so they can ask you a question.

Overall, I think women are a lot less visually driven. We're objective about men's looks to an extent - being hot totally helps, but the other things have to Coke together.

Now, everything l've listed above sounds like it's impossible to achieve. Here's the thing, if just one of those things shines through to an exceptional level, you have a chance. I've slept with the slightly rugged, poorly dressed guy because he was so incredibly kind, was very genuine, and invested in me. I've slept with the put together asshole because he was super deliberate in we everything he did. I knew he was an asshole. I knew it was just sex. He was well groomed and wouldn't waste my time. Etc.

I hope you can gain some insights from that. I'm a bit of an outlier in some ways.

DaygameCoach · 2016-03-14T04:34:18+00:00

You mean the DHV triggers? Leader, protector, Connects with others, Fitness, sense of humor, ...etc? You can google them.

aardvarhunter286 · 2016-03-14T10:40:07+00:00

"what do women find attractive in men for sex" "traits of men one night stands" google these. I got scientific study results for each as top hits. use the search brah.

i also know women are fans of, physically, forearms, abs, shoulders, and those v-line things by the abs. I know this from searching male equivalent of ass and tits for women, and those were the responses (theres even a reddit thread, didnt know forearms were so popular lol.)

also the most popular bodytype seems to be something called otterbod. (or similarly named.) basically like a swimmer, gymnast, etc. or tyler durden haha. but thats for one night stands. LONG TERM GUY is diff. but i dont give a fuck about lt haha.

pyr0phelia · 2016-03-14T03:59:36+00:00

What you're asking for doesn't exist. Women in their 20s looks for different traits from women in their 30s and so on. Also you have to account for their ovulation cycle. What a woman finds "desirable" is going to be radically different just before and just after her period.

Title	Who here knows the qualities that women look for in a man she'll have sex with?
Author	RobbyFeelsGood
Upvotes	0
Comments	10
Date	March 14, 2016 3:22 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4abgei/who_here_knows_the_qualities_that_women_look_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/who-here-knows-the-qualities-that-women-look-for.1403979 https://theredarchive.com/post/1403979

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