I fear competition, and it ruins my chances with women i like.

SecretWasianMan · 2016-03-23T05:00:25+00:00

Stop worrying about if they like you or not; you'll be fine either way. Worry if you like them.

Insanity_-_Wolf · 2016-03-23T07:20:03+00:00

Read "The 48 laws of power" by Robert Greene. Seriousley, there's alot you can take from it that's applicable in basically all facets of life. Unfortunately, I can't reccomend this kind of book to people I know personally, because they'd probably never trust me again ;)

Japanese_Bush · 2016-03-23T07:28:27+00:00

Replace those negative thoughts: "They are laughing about me" to something positive, "She is talking me up, and wants me". You already realize that it sounds stupid when you say it out loud, don't let negativity run your mind like that. Also, girls, especially hot ones, get hit on all the time. They have guys in their lives, so understand that there will be no girls who will only be talking to one guy. Are you in high school by the way? It sounds like a problem with immaturity too.

Also, you get over your fear of competition by DECIDING, you are over your fear of competition. Just decide NOW, you won't let that stop you. Good luck.

2016-03-23T10:46:47+00:00

I used to have that problem. But what you need to realize is that you are only competing with 3% of guys out there. Very few guys know about this sub culture.

Another thing is that when you are competing with a girl you don't have to be 109% better than the other guy to get her. You just need to be 1% better and you win!

itookyourjob · 2016-03-23T05:56:21+00:00

Learn to compete. Literally everything can be seen as a competition. Then learn to win. Apply the same concepts into dating. Knowledge is everything.

dawelder · 2016-03-23T07:09:29+00:00

Don't think of it as a competition. just keep being you. the same guy she is interested in already.

sancar322 · 2016-03-23T15:39:47+00:00

let me ask you this, why would it be so bad if they liked them more than you? Why is it important for you to be better than them?

fezzesarecool4768 · 2016-03-24T01:58:38+00:00

Courage is not the absence of fear, courage is acting in spite of being scared.

It's ok to be scarred about it. I used to be too. I shut down whenever another guy started flirted with the girl I was interested in. I learned to become aloof to the situation. Instead of caring so much that someone else was going to possibly attract the girl I liked, I learned to make the situation work for me. I learned to flirt in front of the guy, to joke with the guy (adding to my value but demeaning him or taking away from his value or hers), and (I had to fake this at first) act as if I didn't mind if she left with that guy. I'd let her talk and flirt with that guy, but I'd take the opportunity to slide closer to her. Start kino - brushing up against her hand or leg, stroking her back, touching her shoulder and asking if she wanted another drink or if she was ready to dance.

It takes time man, Rome wasn't built in a day. But find your courage, and continue to act in spite of your fears!

BitingInsects · 2016-03-23T04:20:13+00:00

Inner game basics. Step back from getting women and focus on building yourself up for a little while.

Big_TX · 2016-03-23T06:09:30+00:00

Just push through. Gain reference experiences where nothing bad happens and it should diminish.

stephen-silver · 2016-03-23T14:16:57+00:00

I think it's you not thinking you're worthy enough rather than a fear of competition. You don't think you're good enough for her to choose you over someone else. Work on that self-esteem brah!

Title	I fear competition, and it ruins my chances with women i like.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	8
Comments	11
Date	March 23, 2016 4:02 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4bl1ao/i_fear_competition_and_it_ruins_my_chances_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/i-fear-competition-and-it-ruins-my-chances-with.1404391 https://theredarchive.com/post/1404391

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