My account is too new to post in TRP, but I wanted to give an example of a successful online dating profile, and also looking for some feedback on what I might do to make it even better:

http://www.okcupid.com/profile/vagdestroyer42

I seem to be getting pretty good responses. Some examples:

HB8, 31 SBF

  • Her: :P "vagdestroyer", ehh?
  • Me: Yep. What then?
  • Her: I'm changing my name to "penile massacre".
  • Me: BAHAHAHA! You totally should!
  • Her: :P They don't let you change screennames, unfortunately, or I would have! haha Happy 4th of July. What's your name? I'm B****a
  • Me: Jamie. Nice to meet you. And I think you have to pay for the A-list thing to change your name. Not sure if it'd be worth it.
  • Her: yeah..bad enough people reference their packages without my referencing packages in a screenname lol

At this point she enables the IM thing and sends me an IM message. We flirt for a bit, with her sending me 2-5 messages averaging 10 words each for every 1 message I send her averaging 5 words each. At one point in the IM convo she says "can the gods just bring me a dude with a big dick who's holding weed? thanks lol. at this point that's all i want. i'm giving myself a year off of serious shit...hurts"

Anyway, she gives me her yahoo messenger ID and continues qualifying herself hardcore, sending me boob pics (I reply with knee pics), she begs me to come visit her.

Win

HB8, SWF

  • I Get a mutual match from her.
  • Me: Damn, girl. Why you gotta live so far away?
  • Her (next day): Sorry I was distracted. You're pretty funny now that I've read your entire profile. :)
  • Her: Being a little gay in your pic you say.. That's cute lol. It's kind of hard to freak me out, but easy to amuse

Qualifying herself right off the bat. I'm going to wait a day to respond, let her wonder why I'm not jumping all over her (obviously because I'm too busy banging other chicks, right?)

Some more amusing ones from beta-shaming jaded bitches:

HB7, SWF:

  • Me: Who is that in the first pic? It doesn't look like the other pics.
  • Her: Your name is vag destroyer. I cannot have a conversation with you. Womp womp
  • Me: Come back with a sense of humor.

HB8, SWF:

  • Me: I can handle you being a dork, but I might get in your face anyway. I just do that. Do you have full body shots on your tumblr? [responding to hooks in her profile]
  • Her: You're a misogynist. If you got anywhere near my face I would fucking rip your testicles off with my bare hands.
  • Me: How are you cats treating you?
  • Her: How dare you think that I would be interested in someone whose screen name is vag destroyer
  • Me: How dare you take the internet seriously! If I give you a dollar will you spend it on a sense of humor?
  • Her: Try again. You should have the decency to know some things shouldn't be joked about.
  • Her: and if you don't you can take your humor and your white boy privilege and shove it up your ass.
  • Me: http://postimg.org/image/4aotvbhr3/ (No, it's not my penis, perv...)
  • Me (next day): You were hoping it was penis, weren't you? Don't lie...