Essentially, I'm am very socially challenged. Speaking with me for even a few moments readily betrays this. Being social is an extremely conscious process for me; I have no innate understanding of social skills, so I basically have to do my best to mimic them. This can make me come across as extremely wooden/stiff and more than a little awkward.

Which leads me to why I'm having a hard time trying to reach out. If I go up and speak to some stranger, someone who's caught my interest particularly, I know for a fact that whatever exchange happens it is going to be quite awkward and more than a little uncomfortable for them. How is that at all fair to that person that I impose upon them an uncomfortable experience that they are almost certainly not going to appreciate? What right do I have to subject them to that?

And another thing, I seems like in order to even get your foot in the door with attracting anyone at all you have to be this amazing, perfectly self-actualized ubermensch. I'm a 24 year old that's still grinding away at an undergrad, in addition to the above issues. It's like there's one of those "you must be this tall" signs you see at the theme park, and I don't even come close meet the requirements to get on the ride. I radiate a palpable aura of "this guy does NOT fuck".

I'm not even bad looking either. I'm not ripped or anything, but I'm visibly in good health and have a nice face. My personality, it seems, is just deficient.

Where am I even going with this diatribe? I don't know, man. I've just been trying to break through for so long and gotten absolutely nowhere; if anything, I'm more anxious now than when I read up all this stuff.

I'm not even interested in becoming some masterful ladies man; I'd just like to be able to find and connect with someone that meshes well with me as a person. I'm not sure if I even have a ticket for that ride.