I'm 18, a virgin ,in college, have social anxiety ,and I want to get laid. Where do I start and what do I do

eviiil · 2016-10-19T04:43:07+00:00

Start by looking in he mirror with brutal honesty. Ask yourself "of all personality/behaivior characteristics women are attravted to, which one do I have the least of?". It might be assertiveness, it might be humor, it migt be general confidence, etc. Be honest and pinpoint something women love that you lack. Make it your goal to get this.

Instead of reading PUA and seductionmaterial, read material dedicated to this one particular thing. For example if anxiety is what you want to tackle, read books on lessening anxiety for the general population.

...

You need to start talking to women, flirting with them, and pushing things forward.

Start with the first step, just talking to them. Go out to stores and coffee shops and anywhere where girls work. Ask them for help or suggestions and make casual small talk. Make comments or compliments to girls in lines behind you. No pressure, no end goal in mind. Just chat and realize how one remotelt nice chat with a stranger can make your day.

answermeanything · 2016-10-19T16:31:00+00:00

No fap until laid.

clevelandtyler2 · 2016-10-19T15:26:40+00:00

Hooker?

Tjodleik · 2016-10-19T22:33:45+00:00

I'm 18, a virgin ,in college, have social anxiety ,and I want to get laid. Where do I start and what do I do

I'd highly recommend working on your social anxiety first, and then go for women later. The reason I say this is that if you start approaching while battling social anxiety you're basically fighting a two-front war, and have to divert energy from one to deal with the other. That leaves you basically half-assing your way through both, and it will take you that much longer to get results on either front.

What do you do? Controlled exposure, combined with a bit of analysis. Do you get anxious in all social situations, or are some worse than others? What thoughts go through your head when anxiety pops up? Are these thoughts reasonable, or du they turn out to be completely bonkers once you start analyzing them? Are you perhaps imagining worst case scenarios and don't even bother because of the disaster you imagined? Are you putting thoughts into people's heads and making decisions based on pure assumption? Find the logic behind your reactions and question it mercilessly, cause chances are it's something your younger self pulled out of his ass cause he didn't see the whole picture.

Some stuff that might or might not be useful at the end ...

The logical and emotional models in brief - A forum post about how focusing on the wrong things can fuck you up and tips on how to avoid it.

Feeling good: The new mood therapy - A book by the man who made cognitive behavioral therapy mainstream. It's one of the most utilized tools for handling various forms of depression and anxiety, and the book itself is really good.

The triple column technique. - One of Dr Burns' techniques, developed to handle negative and overly critical thought patterns, which I'm gonna blatantly assume you have at least a few of.

Also, meditation is a very good tool for handling anxiety. There are multiple forms out there, but mindfulness seem to be most popular. Youtube also have a ton of guided meditations, if you find it difficult to go off on your own.

Last but not least, exposure. Sooner or later you're gonna have to get your ass out there, and the sooner you start the better. Take babysteps if you have to, but keep moving forward.

Good luck :)

2016-10-20T13:13:20+00:00

Join one of the many clubs in college, book club, swing dance, bird watching, whatever. The goal is to expose yourself to more human interaction in general so your social anxiety goes away.

eviiil · 2016-10-20T21:13:33+00:00

I have a follow up comment, a couple things to add to my previous one:

Make working out and getting a great physique a serious . Not your only priority, just a serious goal. It's aesthetically exciting for women but that is not the sole reason. When you get through brutal workouts, when you throw around weight that seemed impossible before, it raises confidence in yourself ten fold.

Along with casually chatting to women in public, and eventually cold approach hitting on them, make an online dating profile. You should be aiming to have as many different avenues for women to come into your life as possible. I'd recommend a balance of putting 70% of your effort in to real life meeting, 30% into online dating sites/apps.

...

So to summarize, from now to the end of 2016 you should:

One: Choose 1 of the following that you are weakest in:

Self Confidence
Reading others emotions
Comfort around hot women and with your attraction to them
Assertiveness
Emotional Stability/ General Positive State

Take the one you are weakest in and aim to turn it into a strength by the end of 2016.

Two: Find a workout program, get in the gym consistently, go hard, get an imposing but not cartoonish physique.

Third: Start talking to every employed woman (cashiers, baristas, etc) when you go out. DOn't hit on them just banter and maybe lightly flirt. After about a week of that, start adding on some direct approaches of women. Don't be too scripted, don't take yourself too seriously, focus on eye contact, and make sure she know's you're attracted to her and that you want to go out.

Fourth: Make an online dating profile. Be honest when you write it out. Get someone to go out and take good pictures of you. Message a few girls a day with messages that show you've read her specific profile... but don't make them too high effort and long.

Title	I'm 18, a virgin ,in college, have social anxiety ,and I want to get laid. Where do I start and what do I do
Author	LETS_FUCKING_GO
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	October 19, 2016 4:29 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/588hvb/im_18_a_virgin_in_college_have_social_anxiety_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/im-18-a-virgin-in-college-have-social-anxiety-and.1414227 https://theredarchive.com/post/1414227

Comments